Behaviour of ex

[eddiesedg]

I was with my exP for about 18 months. He finished things in October. We've kept in contact sporadically in the last few weeks, but for the weeks before that nothing really changed - we still went out together, stayed the night together, etc. I put an end to this in an attempt to move on.

Anyway he messages me out of the blue yesterday after me not contacting for about a week and asks if we can meet over Christmas and what days I can do. He said he's got me a gift. He said he's missed me and as soon as I replied he bombarded me with messages and Instagram likes.

Is this normal behaviour for exes? What's he playing at ?

Just block him?

Instead of allowing him to remain in control why don’t you take control?

Do you want to resume your relationship? Does he? Find out and make a decision

He could just be stringing you along til someone better comes along though so beware of his motives whatever he says

He's having his cake and eating it.
He's enjoying keeping you on the back burner.
You allow it so why wouldn't he???
End it properly.
Tell him to take the gift back.
You are moving on and you don't want any contact from him again.
Job done!!!

October's not that long ago. Yes, it's normal (or rather common). I'm guessing he's prolonging it, either out of habit or because he wants to get back together.
You're going to have to be very direct with him and tell him to cut it out. If you want to continue to be friends that's fine, but you need a lot more time for that and he needs to give you space.

the tree he was barking up enough to dump you for didn't pan out?
he hasn't got the shag he was after so is sniffing around you?

Who knows.

He dumped you, you are worth more than this. Remind him that you are no longer together and that he dumped you. Remind him that as the relationships is gone, so is the obligation to buy gifts.

Wish him well for the future and that's it

What was the reason for him ending the relationship? If you don't mind me asking. It sounds like he still has feelings for you. Perhaps he is regretting his decision to end things or perhaps because nothing has changed you have both slipped back into the relationship again.

Both stressed in careers. Mh issues like anxiety makes me quite clingy and I think i pushed him away. We were both unhappy with ourselves. Cope with depression differently - I needed constant attention and he needed to be alone

Do you want to have him in your life? I understand you have a lot going on with stress and depression.
I would say you're not gonna know how he feels about you and what he wants unless you talk to him.
If you are not wanting to have him in your life in anyway then you need to figure that out. Sometimes riding the storm of depression and stress is easier with someone by your side even as a friend.

I do want him in my life but very aware that I do cling to people when I'm bad and I'm aware that pushes people away. I miss him a lot & I do love him.

I've moved forward a lot, but i just feel like somethings missing.

I wouldn't know how to approach the situation. Half of me thinks he wants me back, and half of me thinks he's doing it out of guilt.

He's not a bad person at all and his friends have told me he's stopped going out now we've split up

Communication is key. You need to know where you stand with him. I'm my opinion I'd tell him that I've missed him too and would like to know whether this gift is a friendly gesture or if there's more to it.
If you decide to get back together maybe express you recognise how you get needy and that you don't mean to push him away by doing this, reassure him you love him.
Maybe ask him if there's anything you could work on that would the help the relationship and equally if there's something he could do to help the relationship.
This can apply to this relationship or future ones if this isn't meant to be.