I’ve had a bit of a torrid year bloke wise with one thing and another but I’d appreciate your advice on this. Firstly I am not a woman who needs a man by any stretch of the imagination, I’m confident, happy, good circle of friends and love my life as a single lady in her early 40s.
About 2 months ago an old flame got in touch (old as in 20 years ago). He’s separated from his DW, recently (I know for a fact he actually has). He was never a partner, more of a hook up friend. We hooked up a few weeks ago. It was alright. He wants more. I told him to get his divorce etc sorted and maybe one day. I do like him, he’s funny, good looking etc. He messages me most days asking how I am, seems to care. It’s not filling me with excitement (it absolutely would have done 20 years ago). It might work in the future but I’m not getting involved with him right now as he has a lot of crap going on with his ex and I don’t want to know/get involved.
Randomly a week or so ago someone I distantly know (not well at all) has messaged me asking me out for an Xmas drink. I’m intrigued. He seems nice. I think I will go and see how it goes.
But I feel disloyal to the old flame who I’m sure thinks we will be together one day (we might but I’m not sure).
Would you go on this date and would you tell the old flame? I think I will go but I’m torn about what to say to OF who I think would be quite upset. I don’t owe him anything, we are not together.
I must admit it was really brave (I think) of this other chap to message me and I’d like to see what he’s like. We may not get on well, who knows but I’d like to find out.
For me it’s a hugely unusual dilemma to have. I’m usually boringly single. WWYD?