Met a man I'm falling for but don't understand what he wants?

[Insearchofsomeadviceplease]

I'm posting on behalf of a friend, but she knows I'm posting -

I've got myself into a situation and don't know what to do. I've just come out of a five year relationship where I loved him to bits but it was purely platonic for the last couple of years. It took me longer to leave than it should have.

Anyway, just over a week ago I met a new man on a night out. I took him home, we had amazing sex, and I really, really like him. We've seen each other twice since and his company and the sex is unreal.

However, he has a baby due in April to his ex (it's all very mature and friendly and I'm 100% sure he's an ex), and he seems to be pulling away from me, he says due to this. He's not willing to have sex or meet up as much, but he's equally unwilling to cut contact completely, I'm basically dangling on a string not knowing what he wants. I think I'm really falling for him. What would you do?

Inserchofsomeadvice

IMO he is future faking, he gained your attention with the amazing sex then threw a “guilt” (to get you to understand) his new baby on the way and you should cool the sex yet continue to speak, now speaking of going to restaurants and different places to keep you hanging on. I see those as crumbs to feed one to keep them hanging on by using ones “understanding” of a situation.
Protect your heart from a man that isn’t ready or may very well be unwilling and manipulative, you deserve full time not a part time.

Move on, ffs! And please, work on your self-esteem. Who would want a relationship with some guy who's got a kid on the way? Yuk! Run a mile in the other direction. And you don't 'fall' for people, you make a conscious decision to continue seeing them, the idea of 'falling' is very immature. Do the mature thing and walk away.

Walk away. He's got a baby due in April. If you are looking for a relationship find someone who is free. Don't walk yourself into an extremely complicated situation. I don't know if you have children but getting involved with a one night stand and heading into a relationship with a father to be separated from the mother will not be easy.

Make things simple, find someone who is free to make you their focus. Get out and about over the party season and meet new people.

Is this a wind up? Seriously

It looks like he had his fun, has told you there is nothing more in it for him but wants to talk to you either because he is keeping his options open (FWB type situ) or he is a nice guy and felt bad for not wanting to pursue a relationship. I'd definitely move on, there is no future relationship with this guy. Sorry.

No, it isn't a wind up. Thanks for all the responses.

Well then I definitely would leave now way too many hassles after a week

He doesn’t want a relationship and he doesn’t want sex. He is just being kind to you by still being in contact and acting friendly.

Seriously, you do not fall for people in a week!

Has it been said yet? "When someone tells you who they are, listen."

Get a grip, cut contact and move on. You barely met/knew him.

Do you think he is hoping that he will get back together with the baby's mother and that they will be a family?

he doesn't sound like a keeper

OP here, but not replying on behalf of my friend this time. I'm not a troll, but if you think I am then by all means report this post.

I posted for her because it's sometimes easier for other people to see your situation than it is to yourself, and for what's it's worth she's appreciated the responses - even the brutal ones.

Tell her to get to an STI clinic. He seems to get around. Put seriously, some guy with a kid on the way? That's right up with people who've been in jail or unemployed losers.

Obviously the sex wasn't 'amazing' for him.