Not sure what to do? Lighthearted and a bit pathetic lol

[Notusedtodatingstuckinarut]

So I'm in my mid 40s I shouldn't be asking advice for this! it's like being a teenage girl again!

Basically I have a 'friend/acquaintance/Facebook friend' who I know from childhood. I know his sister, used to go to school with her. He's a few years older than me. Typical Facebook likes etc, I've always quite liked him. He appears to be single, has a son who lives part time with him. I'm a single parent to a teenage boy.

He recently commented on a post of mine on Facebook. Then he was out on a night out on Saturday and messaged me regarding my post and sent me some videos of him and another person I know from years ago. They were tipsy and dancing and Just larking about. It was fun interacting as I was home alone.

Yesterday he messaged me again saying something funny about the other person and he had a video of him dancing and wishes I could see it am I on WhatsApp. He said he needed my mobile number to add me which I gave him, he added me and we started chatting. Nothing major just chit chat back and forth. It was nice. I haven't heard from him today but don't want to seem super keen if that isn't what he feels too? Should I casually message him again? Help! Feel pathetic lol!! As you can guess I'm not used to this and haven't had a relationship in years!!!

I'd love to have the confidence to send him a pic of me all glammed up but I really don't!!! Plus it may well scare him off lol! I'm leaving it tonight, will see if he contacts me next?

Yes, leave it for now, and I hope he messages you tomorrow

Play sometimes these online chats can stay pen pal-ish for ages, and OP would like a meet up in RL! even if as friends only, it's something to look forward to.

If you want to broach the subject of meeting up you could easily say something like “so have your dancing skills improved over the years? Why don’t you take me out dancing and show me some time?”

If he’s interested he’ll jump, if he isn’t he’ll fob you off but either way you know where you stand. (And if you want to date, and it sounds like this has awakened something in you, please don’t waste time on someone who doesn’t want to date you!)

Thanks for the comments. Fifth, it's difficult as of course I don't want to waste time on someone who isn't interested but then again I don't want to come on like I'm desperate which I'm not! It's getting the right balance. X

"It's so fun talking to you again after all this time! Can i ask if you're single? If you are should we go for a drink?"

Has worked for me in the past. It doesn't sound desperate just straightforward.

Btw he is interested. He commented on your post, messaged you, got your number, messaged you again. He's definitely interested. The question is whether he's single.

I like this thread It’s nice to see something that brings a smile to my face in relationships.

OP, I know it must be nerve wracking but please don’t doubt yourself. Whether he’s interested or not is not a reflection of your desirability level, it’s just personal choice. So don’t let that hold you back, you’re not a teenager you’re an adult woman with life experience to back you up and there is certainly some level of interest if he is messaging you one to one. Life is too short to waste time on self-doubt, or indeed time-wasters.

So, if you are happy keeping things going at chat level then just enjoy it. If you want more don’t hesitate to lead things that way. I like chesty’s response.

His Facebook status says he is, there's no pics of any women on his page? His room is a total man cave I wouldn't think a woman lives there lol!

I wouldn't have the guts to ask him outright so to speak........

Chesty do you really think he is interested? I've been so hurt in the past my guard is up but I'd like to find that special someone?

He's definitely interested 😊

Why do I feel it's all down to me???

Some men like women whom are straightforward and know what they want... if you want to meet him then don't wait for him to as, he's already asked for your number so asking him to meet up won't be so bad :-)

To ask**

I'd say a good few happy marriages have come out of it being down to the women, OP. And he did ask for your number, which takes guts.

I offered him my
Number so he could add me on WhatsApp .....

Patience, dont force a thing thats already started! It isnt only you, he's been messaging you vids whilst he's out out!! Of course he likes you!

Ah well, I messaged him this morning something silly about having a quiet day at work, haven't heard anything back. Story of my life lol

Don't lose faith. He might just be really busy. But also good to not get overinvested . Try to keep things in perspective - got to kiss a lot of frogs and all that.

He sounds really interested to me op.

Are you inviting friends for drinks during Christmas? If so, you could invite him too. Or if you're meeting up with friends in town, tell him if he's out that night to meet and have a drink together. If his intentions are purely friendship then this will work too. If he's interested in more than that it'll be easier to gauge in person.

Totally interested. Hang in there.

I live in a different town to him so the Christmas drinks idea wouldn't work. I do go thru to the town where he lives quite often tho my family are there. I just get the feeling it's pointless? It doesn't take much to even reply a smiley face? I sent him a jokey pic of my feet up yesterday morning as it was quiet at work. He read it almost immediately but then.,......... nothing?

Op I was in exactly this position a few weeks back. Take it slow and enjoy this bit. It’s a slow process so don’t rush it or it’ll get ruined before it’s even begun.

Don’t wait around for messages from him, keep busy and stay grounded and then glance at the phone every once in a while. Otherwise you’ll spend your time in agony waiting for texts and will imagine all types of awful scenarios as to why he’s not replied.

It sounds like it’s moving in the right direction and he does sound interested. Small text chats like this are perfectly normal in the early days. In fact they’re better than someone who won’t stop texting and won’t let you come up for breath.

I’m one date in now, took the plunge and asked him. He’s not much of a texter though he’s getting better. But I’m going at his pace. No expectations and no waiting around for texts on my part and I’m comfortable with it and enjoying this slow warm up which will hopefully lead to something more.

meh

i've been in your shoes op many times recently.loads of guys chat like this..........then nothing.it seems to be the way it is now.

as i have read before on here many times, if a guy is interested in you - you will know it.

Thanks both I totally see both your points. I am staying busy and trying not to check phone and agree that is a good idea but I also think if he was interested, as pointed out, I'd know? And I don't? I'm just gonna leave it see if he texts me now? Otherwise I'll look like some mad stalker!!