I’ve been single for two years, after divorcing Ex H who I was with for 12.
Our marriage wasn’t amazing. We were great friends but lacked sexual chemistry, and aside from the last few years where we were ttc (didn’t succeed) and were having sex regularly (but tbh not always enjoying it) we didn’t previously Have sex often at all. Things were different when the relationship was new, but that died off after the first couple of years. If I had to summarise our relationship in a word, it would be ‘comfortable’.
He was the first guy I slept with, I was a bit of a late bloomer. Since the divorce I’ve had a few one night stands, which I enjoyed although alcohol was involved so I suspect my inhibitions were lowered.
I’ve tried dating on and off for the last year and I just haven’t met a single man I’ve actually fancied, to the point of thinking I’d want a physical relationship with them. I nearly talked myself into it with one guy recently but he proved himself to be a twat, so it never happened, and the point is that I was having to tell myself that I should have sex with him, not that I was wanting to IYSWIM
I’ve wondered before if I have a libido issue, but then I can turn myself on, and I do sometimes see e.g. men on the street that I definitely fancy, but they’re probably out of my league/ten years too young! (I’m mid 30s). I also do miss sex, or at least I think I do!
Everyone keeps saying dating is a numbers game, but I’ve been on at least 25 dates in the last year and I’ve not really fancied even one of them! I think there might be an element of repression involved from being relatively inexperienced/fairly strict upbringing but I’m not sure.
Is there something wrong with me? What should I be doing to try to improve things?