In my relationship. I am sorry but this may be a long post, please advice.
If I voice how I am feeling, I get told that I have a low opinion of him. I don’t, and I admire him and love him. I am just not allowed an opinion. Or say how I feel. I am now not allowed to voice concerns or raise an issue, as he was hoping for a good week without issues. Our issues are rather small issues. I want to improve our relationship and have gone to counselling as we broke up earlier this year, threw him out because he was not paying towards our up keep and because of disagreements escalating into bad arguments and I just had enough, something broke in me and I gave up on our otherwise brilliant relationship.
I was also finding it hard to accept that he cheated on his x wife for over a year and then left her for the ow. I am not the ow. My gut saying he will do the same to me as soon as the novelty of me wears off.
I always feel like I am bugging him with”my issues” as apparently he has not got any.
And that I should relax and enjoy what we have got.
We have been together nearly two years. We live together. Flat in my name and I pay majority of the bills. We get the same pay but he says that seeing he pays maintenance with his kids, I am unreasonable for demanding that he pay half towards stuff as he also has debt, may I add that this debt was accumulated before l came along. I rent the flat btw and the rent is relatively low. He was renting with his mate and paying double there than he does with me here, so I do feel taken for granted as I know if he was able to do that there, then surely he can with me too. He has gone for financial advice and seems to be getting himself sorted but yet to agree with me on what is going to happen for our future.
He kind of moved himself in after only a few months being together, or fourth month in.
I feel like I am ok to be around as long as I don’t raise those or any issues. I am left wondering what really is wrong with me. Otherwise we get on like house on fire, I have my faults but so does he. I love him very much. If there is a disagreement, he stormes off, slamming doors. Yelled at me. I feel very much at fault for bringing stuff up stuff like the finances. I wish our otherwise good relationship was easier. It was so effortless in the beginning and I feel he is making me out to be such hard work when I know full well I am not. I have been really supportive and understanding when it comes to his money issues and his past behaviour. I have turned into a anxious individual and I am constantly questioning myself.
I ask him if he is happy as sometimes I gather he is just in it for s roof over his head although he can be very loving towards me but I feel there are too many mixed messages and that I need to wake up to the harsh reality that this may never work or as long as I dance to the music all is good.
He has just stormed off tho sleep on the couch after I asked him about lack of affection. He said I basically ruin his sleep. There is more to this but I feel he really hates me when he yells at me, walks away and closes the living room door even though he can hear my sobbing. He does nothing to console or even try to fix things. I told him to me it’s a big indicator that he doesn’t respect me at all. Would you kindly advice me as this is slowly killing me x