What does the future hold ??

[GrannyMac2018]

First post so please go easy on me. But would appreciate helpful advice.

Have a 11year old ds and 7 year old dd.
Met dp online May 2015... dating since then enjoyed lots of lovely weekends away and nice times, been a complete rock and shoulder to cry on through job changes, family drama etc. Meet up with the kids occasionally and all get on well.
It just seems to be going nowhere fast though. We have both discussed moving in together - he has his two ds' every weekend Friday- Sunday. our time together recently has been limited, its not a new situation but whereas he seemed willing to arrange childcare in the early days this doesn't happen anymore.
I've started to find myself wanting more.... e.g. I'll ask him to go out or look at booking a holiday next year, he's not up for it. He doesn't seem to grasp that while I enjoy time with us all together I also want to do 'adult things' and have that turn just us two. I went on a work night out Friday which I had asked him to come along to he couldnt because of the kids but then when it turned into a late one he's messaged without the usual x on the end and been very limited in convo. I understood he couldn't make it but he said he was annoyed I found the time to go out with work when if I had childcare I could have spent the eve with him and his boys ?!?! Am I being a for wanting a night out instead of one in with kids ??
What am I doing ?? On one hand I want fun and to enjoy time together making memories and worry that with him I'm going to grow old fast and life will pass me by (e.g. He has no hobbies, limited friends, didn't have a passport until we got together and I've encouraged him to try new things).... but at the same time he's got a heart of gold and my kids like him and I think we could work as a family.
Is it worth putting up with us living seperate lives at the moment - I have my own social life and make my own entertainment ..... knowing I've got a good guy who is just incompatible in that respect ?
Do I need to get my priorities right ??

Anyone ??

I think it sounds like his interest is waning. Pull back and see what he does.

It sounds like he wants someone to share the looking-after-his-boys with! Do you only see him weekends?

Madding crowd ... I said that to him a few months back said I'm not putting my life on hold because of his childcare responsibilities. I understand them but if something pops up on a weekend he can't come to them I will go with a friend instead. He sees any kind of disagreement as me arguing, which it isn't. So it seems like I have pulled back and now this is the result but I can't keep asking for time together to be told no I've got the boys or 'I'll see' so I've left the ball in his court and said when he has got time free or wants to meet up to let me know

PNgirl .... he has one ds on a Tuesday and Wednesday eve too.
TBH I'm a bit precious of my school nights with my kids and struggle with getting enough sleep so have said he can come round once kids are in bed but this can only happen mon, thru or Sunday and v rarely does as once my kids are in bed I'm pooped or got stuff to sort out... I very often fall asleep with my dd who has only this week managed a full week in her own bed.

God, he sounds dull! Only getting a passport when you got together sounds like he has never been much of an adventurous type whereas you sound full of fun and like making the most of life.
You are doing the right thing in going out with friends if he can't make it, although tbh it just sounds like he cant be arsed to go out with you. Tell him to get to fuck with the bloody guilt trips when you GO OUT AND HAVE FUN. Joyless idiot.

I would just dump him, he doesnt sound like he adds much to YOUR life anyway. I am at an age now that I will not tolerate any half arsed crap.

Oh blimey he sounds a total bore. Yawn ... you bloody go out and enjoy yourself girl and don't let him make you feel guilty. I'd have dropped him years ago but I like fun and excitement and maybe that's not your thing but I couldn't handle being made to feel bad when I then went out to find what he was massively failing in providing.

I do appreciate any reply so thanks all.

I do like to have fun and make the most of life including child free time (!) just worry that he's a good bloke and those seem rare and I don't want to act like a teenager focusing on the wrong thing. I'm 30 he's 31.... I think I'm putting up with it in case I never find anyone as kind hearted as him again but that means putting up with the lack of fun together in the meantime
It's like a choice between someone who won't hurt me and is a safe lovely option or living life and seeing what that brings and I'm scared to make the wrong decision x

Omg, didn't realise you are so YOUNG! Definately go out and make the life you want, you have your whole life ahead of you!! If he is this boring now he will still be the same in 5, 10, 15 years, this is who he is. As an aside though it isn't compulsory to have a man in your life you know! You sound like you can manage perfectly well without one X

Not wanting to book a holiday next year with you. This sounds like he is not that into you. I would not put my life on hold for him. Find another friend to go out with on nights out and holidays.

How is this man in any way a good bloke; he is as dull as ditchwater and is not above guilt tripping you when you do go out. In your most recent post there is another red flag re him re your comment, "He sees any kind of disagreement as me arguing, which it isn't"

I would raise your relationship bar a lot higher, do not settle for mere crumbs and give this person the boot as of now. Your children will also thank you for doing so.