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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Struggling with STBXH. He's a dysfunctional twat. How did i not know?

4 replies

PawsyMcPawFace · 10/12/2017 17:52

I'm 6 weeks down the line of moving out and I'm struggling. I'm worried about money, I have the first court date in January, my DD is depressed and my DS spends all his time round there playing on the xbox til stupid o'clock. Twatface just lets him. I want him back with me but I fear he is getting into the groove and will absolutely use it to his advantage as some kids will.

So I can see now that TF (twatface) really is nasty. He is using my son to avoid paying for CM as he's around there all the time. I know this as my DD asked for some money for school from him the other day only for him to tell her he's paying CM so I should pay. well he's paying the min amount because he has his own business and has put himself on min wage. I've been paying for clothes, shoes, doing all the washing, making sure they go to their clubs etc. He sits on his fucking arse and just lets DS play on the xbox. The kids won't ask him for anything because he says no to everything. And aggressively so.

I have been so stupid and soft and reasonable in the hope that he will step up. But I know he won't because he is just not right in the head. I fucking hate him. I'm fed up of walking through treacle. Everythings so hard.

I've had to furnish this new rental on a shoe string. Half my savings are gone and by spring time they'll all be gone.. Meanwhile, he's sitting in a big fucking house being obnoxious and calling me evil.

OP posts:
lolaflores · 10/12/2017 18:02

You need a mad dog solicitor I think...or something in the range of that. This is not all done up on a bow just yet. Have you seen someone yet about all of the fine details?
I am no expert but some of that can be tidied up. He probably believes he has covered all his corners but, forgive me for what I am about to say, you can still rinse him to some degree if you get the right advice to run an expert eye over thigns.

Maelstrop · 10/12/2017 18:41

Are you on the mortgage? If so, can you see a solicitor to see if you can force a sale?

PawsyMcPawFace · 10/12/2017 18:41

I've been through 2 solicitors, who were pretty crap. I'm trying to find a new one. Got some recommendations via WA.

I cannot believe the crap he's put us through. He's been using our DD and telling her all his problems and saying that she'll probably be the one who finds him dead. How the fuck can you do that with your own DD? She doesn't want to see him atm and has been avoiding his calls.

How has my life turned out like this?

OP posts:
PawsyMcPawFace · 10/12/2017 18:43

Its in joint names. Court date in January. Nothings going to happen quickly as I know he'll fuck about and play victim.

OP posts:
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