feel I cannot carry on and am in danger of flouncing out. Would much rather not. Help.

[zizou]

Ok,so this week has been shite, with both me and Dd2 ill, dd1 irritable at having to cancel lots of fun activities because of us being ill, and dh away every night with work things. But I am totally stressed out and we haven't even gone back to school yet.
This is what I do:
work - have demanding job but have to fit it into school hours and need more hours.
help at the schools with specific project.
do all shopping, cooking, household admin, kids' activities, playdates, relatives' birthdays, social calender,washing, pet related activities, thinking about the children's lives and where they are going and what they are doing.
have to stay in most evenings whilst he is off out with work.
Oh and I am trying to finally lose the post baby weight, 6 years on.
I want some serenity in our lives, and I also want to live at a less frenetic stressed pace, but his job won't allow it, and he says he can't give up for 2 years.
We have a cleaner 4 hours a week and I have tried to find good childcare 2 afternoons a week so that I at least feel I can get my work done properly, but I can't find anyone.
Any advice? We are talking about this tomorrow night so I would welcome some wisdom before then. Cheers.

here's a TW childminder in nanny shares

WWW I disagree. I think the aunt is the one who suffers if I don't remember, and that's too awful to contemplate. But I've signed up to moonpig now, so that issue is a thing of the past.

Oh, fox in socks, you came to my rescue once before, I was posting under another name (sibdoms)about how workaholic and unsexy my dh was and I remember clocking that you lived near me. Where do you live? Thanks for the links.

Zizou, I'm sorry but you sound like the perfect butler , you really need to get some time for yourself and let the rest of the family share responsabilities. There may be some problems for them to asume it but eventually it would be for the better, they need to learn to take of themselves and their time little by little. (Particularly your DH, I would be tempted to say that if he is working 90 hrs a week perhaps you should be spending the school hours in a spa/playing tennis with other mums to make up for all the responsabilities that have being passed on to you. You are doing far more hours than him having 2 full time jobs)

I can not add much more than what has been already said. I have done most of what WWW has mentioned and it has certainly made a difference. Lot

I think we take on roles in a partnership. I take on the washing for example. I don;'t want dh to do any as I know he will ruin something. He takes on the bills. If ZIZous partnership menas she takes on the birthdays etc then so be it. As long as she and her dh are happy with this. HOwever, if things are getting sgressed she needs to find a way of giving some of the stress away. IE moonpig, childminder AND letting her dh become involved in this new organisation

I think you've had v good advice on here ( I will soon be requesting the services of www to sort out my life - though I think the answer to every question would be YOU NEED TO WIN THE LOTTERY. FAST.)

I would just add that if you're still feeling under the weather you may want to be feeling better before you a) start on sorting things out and b) having big discussion with dh - though I think you already have, from dates of posts.

Put ads up in playgroups/nurseries around kids' school - Montessori teachers finish around 3pm and many take up another position at 330pm, and are free in holidays. Maybe also ask TAs in kids' school too. No harm in asking.

am loving Moonpig!

Oh I know every partnership has its own quirks, I do, in our house dh does bins and I am loo roll monitor but we are both happy with that. Zizou is 'in danger of flouncing' hence my suggestion that her dh take on some stuff, esp cards for his family. But I really don't care/mind if she/he doesn't! The thing about advice is that you don't have to take it!

Moonpig is fab isn't it? You can upload photos too, I send pictures of ds and dd to my aunts from there.

sibdoms, you old devil! I've been wondering how you were!!

I do think that your partner could helpfully do a batch of cooking in advance....

Also your DH can do the washing at the weekend. For some reason my partner does all our washing (this goes back to a massive rant I once had about doing it all, ages ago) and he tends to do it at the weekend.