Help me persuade him this is not going to ruin our family.

[coalwife]

I have been a stay at home mum for 8 years. Before that I was a nurse. I do not want to go back to that. It was hell and is no better now by all accounts. I have started my own business as a VA so I can work from home. It's going really well because I'm good at my job I actually have a waiting list for clients.

My husband is not convinced. He works away during the week and is concerned this will change the dynamic in our house. (Ie he might actually have to do something!)

Recently I had some great publicity and I emailed it to him to see. He still hasn't mentioned it. (It was on Friday)
I want to confront him tonight about his apathy. How can I
A. Bring it up
B convince him this is a good thing.

(Ps. We don't need me to work in terms of money so he doesn't see why I'd want to)

I still haven't spoken to him about it. I swing from thinking feck him! I'm making a real go of this on my own who cares if he isn't interested ......... to being gutted that he won't share the excitement with me. I'd love to tell him all about the meeting I had today with new clients or how I see the business developing. But I think it would start a row.

To be blunt...it does not sound like your dh will weather this. You asked two questions and the answers are a) perhaps you should write a letter or an email and read it to Him, so it is logical and your thoughts are organised and b)you can’t convince him, because he will drag his feet and make it a bad thing, quite possibly ruining your marriage.

I think if I were faced with the dilemma of marriage vs job simply due to the fact that my husband didn’t have space in his brain to realise that I also have needs/wants/ambitions then I would lose all respect for him anyway, so there would be not very much marriage anyway.

Sorry it sounds so depressing. There is one possible loophole - perhaps he is so massively threatened that you will expect him to do more than he can manage at home (ie anything) that he is afraid to cheer you on. In which case you could as part of your letter/speech//discussion say that you (both) will hire a nanny/housekeeper so both get to work and no one feels overworked in the household chores department.