Emotional affair with colleague

[Howtoodo]

We have worked together 10 years and have had a connection the whole time. He's married with a child and so am I.
A few years ago we kissed when we were drunk, it was intense but that was it no follow up. When we are out with work we find each other and flirt like mad and say things we wouldn't if we were sober. I'm sure people notice.

This happened the other night and I left early to remove myself from the situation even though it was the last thing I wanted to do, but when I got home I emailed him, I have never done anything like this and even thought the email was a few generic words it's killing me that I sent anything. He has not replied but it was to his work email so might not have seen it, also I can't recall the email.
Anyway, I feel sick to be in this situation for my family. My husband does not deserve this.
Besides leaving my job I can't see a way out as it's the kind of situation where there are no sparks for over a year and then it's back without warning. I won't drink around him again. I think we both thrive from the excitement of fancying each other which is pathetic, we are in our late 30's

There is NO way this can end well. Stop it now.

Can you recall the email?

These situations never end well. Best stop any further interactions outside of work and don't drink around him.

It's so not worth it in the long run.

you can find the message in your "sent" folder. Recall it even if it is gone. At least even if he has received it, he will see that it was more than you meant to do.

No it can't be recalled as it was from an outlook account, it basically said I got home ok so very generic but also random as we walk a tight line and wouldn't have done anything like this previously.
I know this is such a recipe for disaster and I have previously thought great it's done as I feel nothing and he hasn't been forthcoming for ages but then it just starts again and in my head I think why is this back I have not thought about him for a year! He's also very senior in our department. I do give him a wide berth at work most of the time so I know alcohol is the issue

It’s a shitty situation to be in but I think not drinking around him and giving him a wide berth is best lovely. Did you ever tell your husband about the kiss?

No and I can't see myself ever telling him. I told my friend and colleague the whole story this weekend, don't think she was suprised but it felt good to admit the problem to another person and talk about it

Sometimes it does help to off load to someone. How does he feel about it all? Did he ever tell his OH?

I'm not entirely sure about his situation it's definitely less traditional than most marriages and I think they may have a more 'open' marriage. I know, this is very bizarre.

You need to hand in your notice.

^ agreed. This can’t end well. Besides you’ve screwed up so do something to ensure it NEVER happens again. You shouldn’t even be near him now you have history.

Did he ever reply OP?