Is it my fault

[Amaz24]

I've been with my partner 15 years and married for 7 of them. We have a 6yo. Just found out he's been sleeping with someone for a year!
He says it's just sex.
TBH our sex life was non existent but that didn't mean I didn't love him or want to be with him.
He never liked anyone looking after little one and I think we became Mum and Dad and forgot husband and wife.
I was always tired, felt like I did everything. We both worked. I don't want it at 2 in the morning!
I'm feeling so much hurt at the min.
He's left the home and our little one doesn't know
HELP

He never liked anyone looking after the little one? So when did you get a break? You say yourself, you do everything.
He sounds like he rules the roost. Now he's shagging someone else.
What do you get a say in?

Tell us more. And of course it's not your fault. He doesn't sound great at all.

We both work full time. He does shift work so I gave up social life to work around his work. He would still meet mates when off and I'm at home with little one who's 6 now. I can count on one hand how many times nanny's had him not for me trying. I felt like a mum and not a wife a lot of the time. But that's does t mean I didn't love him and wanted to be with him.
He obviously felt unloved? and that's why started sleeping with someone else because he wasn't getting it at home. I feel if he gave 'us' more time we wouldn't be in this situation. Sleeping with other person a year. They put a letter through postbox beginning of the week telling me when he was at work. They work together.

Does the person he is shagging think it is 'just sex' or is he lying to them as well?

Why are you looking to blame yourself? Sounds like an arse!! Enjoy your freedom

It's not because he feels "unloved" don't let him unload the blame onto you. He has broken his vows you should be furious.
You are of value, and he has betrayed you!
Your child is 6! Of course you should get time off for yourself, your child is plenty old enough for babysitters.
Valuing yourself is one of the best things you can do for your child. What kind of attitudes to women do you want him to have? What kind of beliefs about relationships?

This is definitely not your fault!

Don't let him put the blame for his awful behaviour on to you! I am raging on your behalf.

Did she give her address so you know where to drop his belongings off?

I doubt it's just sex if he's been sleeping with her for a year

She says she left her husband for him. He helped her move into new place.
He says he is not with her and never was, it was occasional meet up!! Makes no difference he still did it!
She says she wants nothing to do with him. She thinks he had someone else but he denies it. I think that is the only reason she told me!

Please get checked out - you don't want anything festering over Christmas - urgh.
And hope his stuff is packed.

I read your other thread too. No. It isn't. Problems within a relationship, yes, can be both people's fault. Failure to address it and try to solve it, yes can be both people's fault. Shagging someone else is ONLY the shagger's fault. Please don't do this to yourself - you will have enough to deal with without blaming yourself for his infidelity. That is ALWAYS a choice. No matter how miserable, unfulfilled, bored etc you are you always have the choice not to cheat.