How many friends do you have?

[ChickenMom]

Just wondering if anyone else gets depressed looking on social media at other peoples amazing social lives/loads of friends? I don’t have a big group of active/sociable friends who regularly see each other. I’ve got an old friend who doesn’t keep in touch, who made herself part of my ex boyfriends big social group. So now her and her husband do regular parties/bbqs/New Years eve holidays with his big group of mates and I don’t see her anymore! I’m not bothered by not seeing her anymore as my husband and her husband don’t really get on but it has made me realise that if I wanted to have a house party, I haven’t got anyone to invite! It makes me feel sad and lonely. I just wondered if she “got lucky” by getting to know this social group or if it’s normal and if I’m the abnormal one? I have no idea how to “do” big groups of friends like that! I have a couple of friends that I see but I even find that hard work/stressful to keep the relationship going! Am I just abnormal or unlucky in friendships I wonder? How do you make friends these days?

I thought I had less friends than I do.

Then this year has been really shit for me and I realised my perceived lack of friends is because I’ve rarely reached out to them. This year I actually got in touch with people and shared how hard things were for me. Suddenly my friends came into their own —and my dm disappeared and had been kicked to the curb as I deserve better—

I've only got 1 friend and I don't see her regularly, as we live in different countries. I know people where I live but there's no one that I'd call a friend. I've come to realise that if I was a different type of person, more outgoing, etc, I'd definitley have more friends.

I have 1 close friend who I've known for 20 years. We live in different countries now and have done for a long time but we keep in touch and see each other regularly. Apart from her I have my husband and family and that's it. That's ok for me, I'm an introvert and I can't make friends with people who I dont feel I "connect" with.

You are not abnormal. Facebook often doesn't reflect reality.

I have 10-15 people I call close friends BUT I work hard on friendships to maintain them. I take a lot of initiative and organise meet ups. I think many people don't make much effort and Inhave personally ditched many friends where I felt the friendships were too one sided.

I've loads but they are mostly one on one friends st this point as my lifestyle with working from home and having 4 kids back to back has cut me off from becoming part of a group. I'll find that again in due course when I can escape the kids a bit. I've my old school friends (3 of us we try to meet a few times a year, we live far apart), my childhood best friend (we live far apart but I see her when home), my sister I talk to regularly, my 2 SILs who live nearby and are great, about 6 individual good friends I've made since moving here a few years ago. And all my old friends from work and expat living throughout my 20's, I'm still quite in touch with quite a few of them.

I find people want to have friends so when I click with or feel comfortable around someone I'm very open to them. Invite them round, arrange lunches, cinema etc. They do the same back or it fizzles out. Luckily it tends not to!

Firstly I would ignore social media as a snapshot of what people's lives really like. People only share what they want you to see, the vast majority only post fun stuff, days out, etc.

I have a group of 6 friends I have known for 20+ years, over time our DHs have become good friends too so we have a big gang. These are true friends, there through the good and bad and there's been plenty of that between us all!
I also have 2 friends from school who I see as regularly as I can.

Other people I am 'friendly' with are the result if circumstances ie: work, school gate, DDs activities. I wonder if circumstances changed though how many I would actually stay in touch with.

Quality is important, I'd rather have one good friend than 6 flaky ones.

Social media doesn't show friends anyway, it shows friendship groups going out. So if you don't go out much, you might not see how many friends a person really has. Nobody is going to take a pic of you at the kitchen table having a cuppa in your joggers with your best friend...

So actually I disagree that Facebook is just a snapshot, it can be pretty accurate for many people but you'll only see the ones in the partying stage of their life mostly.

None. I don't do social media either (except Instagram which is just for my ragdoll cats). I'm happy like this, I'm an introvert and I enjoy my own company.

Not many, but more than I thought. But you find out who your real mates are when the shit hits the fan. I had some surprise heroes during the worst parts of my life. All of them understand that I'm not good at all the texting etc as I'm ASD too.