Avoidance

[Farontothemaddingcrowd]

It's just occurred to me that I've been lax with taking iron tablets because I like being anaemic and tired. It means after work and kids, I have no energy left to think about dating and so I don't get hurt. Is this strange? I know if I had more energy I would feel lonely, but as it is, it doesn't bother me. Is that strange?

Yes. It is very strange that you are not choosing wellness.
My therapist said "ah - so you are self-sabotaging ". It was a lightbulb moment & very helpful.
Take care of you. You deserve it 💐

Thank you. I feel quite sad. Like my life has stopped and everyone else is enjoying theirs. I love my dc dearly but I feel like because I am mum to 3 that no man will ever be interested, so no point looking.

Can't give you any dating advice but try to find the positives and take care x

I think you should take your iron tablets properly - you don't have to think about dating but whether you do or don't you should put being well first. Loads of people start relationships when they've got children and there will be loads of people in exactly the same position as you, just take it slow x

I don’t think it’s strange. It’s just a maladaptive coping mechanism like other maladaptive coping mechanisms; drinking, addictions, anger etc

You’ve cottoned on to it now so you that means you have the insight you need to start working on replacing it with more healthy coping mechanisms.

I started iron tablets yesterday and I have never had such smelly farts in my life. Dh is threatening to leave me.

Not saying you are, but I felt like this about taking antidepressants a few years ago, I didn't really want to take them because to some extent it was easier to be depressed because I felt I had an excuse to stay in and do nothing... so I know where you're coming from! But I think the more I tried to look after myself, the more I wanted to, do I'd suggest you keep trying! X

I think lots of people have things like this TBH.

I enjoy having a sickness bug for similar reasons - being let off stuff without guilt, getting sympathy and just being allowed to wallow without thinking about anything.

I had a period of taking the codydramol I was prescribed for my back pain just because it took the edge off my anxiety.

I totally relied on alcohol to allow me to cope with seeing ex for a while.

The trick is not never having any maladaptive coping mechanisms IMO, it’s recognising when you are doing it and taking action to stop.

I’ll probably always enjoy a sicky bug cos that isn’t a choice, I told the pharmacist to stop giving me codydramol when I realised how I was taking it and I have left ex and am 3 days off completing a dry month in preparation for christmas.