'D'H had an affair, which he told me about in the summer. I have tried to be kind and forgiving but he doesn't seem able to offer me kindness or respect in return. Last weekend was the second time since finding out that after weeks of admittedly slow progress he has shat all over it and stayed out all night and ignored my calls. There have been numerous other ways that he has demonstrated a complete lack of respect for me.
Last week I asked him to stay somewhere else. He came back on Wednesday night as I asked him to as I wanted the children to be able to see him. He works long hours so in normal circumstances is only back about once or twice a week in time to see them for bedtime but he sees them in the morning and at weekends.
I don't think it's right for him to be here unless something drastic happens and he can commit fully to me and our family, but I think we're a way off that. I also feel we're a way off a formal separation. We have only just started our Relate sessions properly.
My question is, what do I tell the children for now? They are 2 and nearly 6 so it's only really the older one. But they will notice that Daddy isn't here ☹️ I am trying very hard to be as normal as possible but I had a really difficult day today and the older one asked me at bath time 'Have you got a sore or is something hurting in some way?' I managed to do nothing more than well up but I was sobbing wildly on the inside.
Should I say nothing for now even though they may be subliminally picking up on things? Has anyone been in a similar position?