I dunno where to start ... list is longer than my arm i have so much inside i feel like i could burst into a thousand pieces ... and on top of everything this year has been the worse year of my life.
Ill start with my first love ... this was my first real relationship we met throu friends one summer back then i was in my late teens and it was a rollercoaster , i still think this relationship left alot of wounds that have never fully healed.
We was together for around 18 months , we had some great times some of my best memories ... but 4 months into our relationship she started to self harm she had major issues with her dad being missing from her life and i think that was the root cause of her downward spiral that led to annorexia ... for weeks i watched her make herself sick and cut herself ... i tried in vain to stop her i did everything possible to get her to stop untill oneday i had to tell her mum she made me promise not to i was still young and i thort she would stop i didnt understand what was happening and didnt no how to deal with it so i sat her mum down and told her ... within a week she was meeting her new councillor ... as the months went by she got better and better ... but inbetween all this i was there holding her hand telling her it will be ok and that i will be there for her always ... i have tears running down my face as i write this ... she was the one , i loved her more than anything or anyone ever ... in the end over time she got better and just when i thort right thats it shes fine we can now get back to our lives mine was shattered she sat me down and told me she had a miscarrige from her eating disorder and the baby didnt survive and that we need to split up for good as she felt that she was making my life hell ... i would of gone to hell for her ... i begged i pleaded we had been throu so much just to throw it all away but that day was the last time i see her ... my heart was broken and i think it still is even today ... i have never got over her but i think thats because she was my first love i have so many regrets what i could have i done better and for years i have been trying to piece it together.
Thats as much as i can type atm but thats just the start on my life.