He isn't attracted to me anymore...just the internet

[notveryhappy]

This is all new to me so I hope I put this across properly.

I am 29 weeks pregnant with my first child, before I was pregnant I was always slim and full of energy and lots of self esteem. My partner loved to have sex with me and we did it a lot! But the past month has been horrible. I've obiously got fatter (which is not a problem for me) and gained a few stretch marks here and there. All of a sudden my partner isn't interested in me but looking at porn on the internet whenever I go to bed. I've even asked him to come to bed early and he'll say "I'll be up soon" half an hour later he'll be in bed with me but "too tired" for sex. I feel so rejected. I didn't have a problem with the way I looked since I've been pregnant but now I do. I feel ugly and unwanted and it's getting me really down. The thought of him looking at slimmer more attractive women makes me feel like a baby elephant!

Also, when we first got together I found out he had been sleeping with his ex behind my back. When I found out he cut off all ties with her and explained that it had stopped ages ago. We'd only been together 2 months when this happened so we hadn't been together long. He told me he loved me and not her...but she lives so close by and now that we aren't having sex I worried that he will start to see her again. I'm so paranoid and I know deep down he does love me and wouldn't do that but it's still lingering at the back of my mind.

I just want to feel loved and sexually wanted again.

Talk to him and explain how you feel.He may actually be doing this so not to put on you kind of thing or because,and yes men still think this way sometimes, he'll hurt the baby or be seen by the baby if he makes love to you?
If you don't talk to him it will just get worse.

some men find pregnancy really offputting (good evolutionary tactic of course, what's the point of impregnating a woman who is already carrying a baby?). Ask him why he's gone off sex, and don't accept 'tired' as an answer - 'tired' is often bloke for 'headache'. but please be nice to him - I know you feel rejected and frustrated, but you won't get to the bottom of the issue unless you genuinely listen to him and accept what he says without getting upset with him (get upset with a friend later if necessary)

I've tried to talk to him but I am ever so terrible with confrontation. I start what I need to say and then it all comes out wrong and then I feel stupid. But you are right I need to try and get this sorted out soon before I end up losing all my confidence. I've just started to stay in because I can't bear to see all the pretty girls in their summer clothes and me as a big fat sweaty mess! I will try and organise in my head a couple of hours before hand what I need to say and pray it comes out right!

Maybe his just as worried about your body as you are. Maybe his worried he'll hurt you or the baby.
Why dont you suggest a early night with dvd, or maybe he can give a massage. I know its not full sex but maybe the closeness will help and lead elsewhere
good luck

Oh and sod the thin girls in summer dresses, they dont have a life growing inside them and a lovely partner (sex restriction aside)
L

Your right. I'm having one of those days where I just need to get everything off my chest. Now that I have done it on here with some help from you guys... I'll get it all out tonight with my partner and fingers crossed it will help.

i think your dp is being very unkind by looking at porn rather than making love to you.does he know how you feel about your pregnant body?
when i first got pregnant with dd3 i explained to my dp that i was going to get fat and feel unattractive,and that we wouldnt even be able to watch a film with a pair of tits in for the first few months cos id be paranoid he was getting turned on by them.he was very understanding,always told me he found me beautiful(i didnt believe him but at least he said it!)and when i started getting bigger and he started to feel uncomfortable about making love(cos he'd felt the baby move etc)he explained all this and reassured me,and we found other ways to be close.

i hope you have managed to explain how you feel to him,i know its hard to stay calm and rational when you're pregnant especially,but it helps if you are both relaxed and you know in your head what you want to say first.