Last month I confessed to my husband that I had an affair with a family friend. I had been feeling disjointed and unvalued by my husband in our relationship for on and off a couple of years at least. I was a stay at home mum and felt the lowest of the low, my confidence plummeted and I always felt my husband was so much more of a rounded person than me, he is always so busy and manic and made me feel lazy and not good enough by comparison. Also he is very dominant and many would say controlling, although I will admit to being a quiet and quite passive person in contrast. Our relationship was very much parent/ child. Last year I went back to work after my ds started school. My confidence began to return a little and I was receiving friendly attention from this man who was my dd's friends dad. He was also friends with my husband and had witnessed what he believed to be unacceptable behaviour from my husband, he thought he didn't treat me properly and we began to confide in each other as he was also unhappy in his relationship. Things snowballed over a few months and we ended up in an affair which I was beside myself with guilt with. At first I enjoyed the attention but quickly realised I would not be able to get out of the situation without potentially hurting everyone involved. So, terrifying as it was, I came clean. This was a month ago and our world is upside down. To start with I was very confused and because I had to end the affair abruptly, I had mixed feelings about my affair partner and my husband and didn't know who I really loved. I have had very minimal contact with him and am trying hard to work on my marriage now. However my husband has gone from initially saying he still loved me to now, he doesn't love and and doesn't want to be with me. In the meantime he has asked me to show him love and affection and acts of love which I have done, but they never seem quite enough. We have had some awful arguments and he is full of venom and anger towards me and what I did. He has been aggressive and has really frightened me in his reactions on several occasions. I constantly am apologising but he wants to go over the same details over and over again. He believes he will never be able to move on from this and will never be able to trust me again and our marriage will never be the same. I keep saying I want to work on it but he has so many issues, for example he wants us to move out of the area and move the kids to a new school so that we are not likely to see my affair partner or his family. He also believes he is completely blameless and that there were no priblems in our relationship beforehand. Also he is full of venom towards my friends who he believes have turned me against him and so seeing them will be difficult going forward. I guess my question, has anyone else been in similar situation and managed to work through it? I believe we can but my husband is adamant he will feel like this forever and will be happier without me. It breaks my heart that he is being so short sighted when we have two amazing kids and have been together for 13 years. Any comments greatly appreciated.