Living with an ex

[dolphinbbq]

As the title says, how do you do it?

We have broke up over the last few days and have a few months notice on the tenancy.

We are amicable to a certain extent but can both become bitter, very easily.

Help 🙁

Speak to him and agree you’ll treat each other as if you were lodging together. Agree how the chores will be split and don’t do things for each other that you may have done before - unless you agree to alternate. Cooking, washing clothes etc - just separate it all. And establish what happens with “dates.” Bringing people back to the house would definitely cause bitterness!

It's hell - pure hell.
I spent a lot of the time at the gym and spent weekends visiting family and friends.
Try to detach as much as possible.

Thank you both for the advice.

It will definitely be an adjustment however we have no kids so thankfully will make it a lot easier.

I did a month. It was horrible and I spent as time out of the house as possible.
We separated cooking, laundry, picking up after ourselves and I stopped all housework apart from stuff that kept me safe and clean, as previously I had done it all. I cleaned my room, the kitchen and the bathroom.
I had to go back last week (7 weeks after leaving) to collect some stuff and it was like I had never lived there. The house had descended into compete squalor, which was how he was living when I met him.

I did it for a couple of months and that was long enough. You just need ground rules and spend as much time out of the house as you can.
Do you have friends/family you could occasionally stay with? That would also help.
Be thankful you're only renting. I'm still trying to sell our house but if I hadn't been able to afford the mortgage on my own, he would still be here 8 months down the line.....

Wow I'm glad he isn't that kind of person.

I have family I can stay with however having just moved out of the family home at the beginning of the year, I'm not going to go back. I am now trying to find something that I can rent comfortably (very difficult in this area) and I don't have enough for a deposit yet so really back to the drawing board. He is away for a few days with work, I am going to do as much tidying between now and his return then from there it will just be me washing dishes I have used and my own clothes etc.