If you're separated/divorced from your dc's father, and live some distance from him, how does access work...

[BonyM]

...because for the last 7 years dh or I have driven half the overall distance to drop off/pick up dd1 every time her father wants her to go to stay with him.

Are we are unusual in doing this? Interested to know what other people do as ex-h is starting to get a bit shirty about access.

Dp and I live in Sth Lincs exp lives in Kent
Now ds is 13 he can catch a direct train alone to London where his dad meets him.
Previous to this very recent developement
His dad wants him, he drives. Sometime if we were heading south maybe we'd drop him a little closer, but never ever did we go out of our way.
However we are all such good mates that he also comes to stay over sometimes to see ds.
Why is exh shirty?

Because he wanted dd for 4 nights over the Easter break and she only wanted to go for 3 (she gets homesick sometimes). When I told him be accused me of lying and we had a huge row over the phone including him saying he's not happy with access arrangements and thinks we are obstructive when he tries to arrange weekends.

We have to put ourselves out to drop her off and of course it won't always be convenient on the days/times he wants. He thinks this is being obstructive. Pillock.

Dh and I feel like telling him we're not going to drop off anymore, but I really don't think I can stand him going off on one again.

Ahhh
How far away doea he live and how old is your dd?

We're in Cardiff, he's in Kent. DD will be 9 tomorrow.

Tbh it wasn't so bad when he lived in London and had her less frequently, but since he's moved further away and got married, they want her every month and poor dh has to battle with M4 traffic on a Friday evening after a long hard week in work (I can't do the drop offs any more because we have a 2yr old now who needs tea/bed etc.)

He moved further away and expects you to drive part of the way
Sod that for a bunch of bananas.

I grew up in Cornwall with my mum and when my dad left he moved to Newcastle. Mum used to take us (sis and I) to London on a train and Dad would come down to London and meet us there. So like you they did half the journey each (although I think my dad paid all the train fares). When we got older (about 13) we did a different route with no changes and were dropped off and picked up at each end.

Hmm, I think I've maybe been too soft up to now, but having set the precedent it's not going to be easy to change it.