Please help me understand this!

[MiniHeroes]

Because I'm bloody well fed up with myself.

I may well sound like a teenager writing this but I can assure you I'm nearly 30!
I split up with a long term partner just before Xmas last year and then had a whirlwind romance (although not particularly romantic) in march this year. It was good to start with but then turned very hot and cold, up and down- all in the space of 5 months. Was ridiculous so we Ended things but continued talking/meeting up.

He's been very good at "bread crumb" text messages since. Wanting to give things another go, "it'll be better this time". Now he's gone opposite way and has deleted my number and appears to have no interest in me whatsoever. Replies to messages out of courtesy but only very short and abruptly.

I think about him 24/7. It's driving me insane. I'm just waiting constantly for him to contact me.

Why??? He's not giving me headspace!!
Why on earth can't I forget about him - I wouldn't normally take any crap!

My reading would be: You didn't really end things - you carried on seeing each other. Now he seems to have met someone else and lost interest in you, so this is the real break-up and you have all the feelings you avoided earlier in the year.

This should give you the chance to move on and have a better year in 2018 - he's actually doing you a favour by making you let go. Delete his number and NC.

I'm going to say this bluntly in the hope that it might help -- he's just not that into you. Or the relationship or whatever you had. Im sorry. Obviously you like him. But I do think they when someone blows hot and cold constantly that it can generate a false sense of longing in the person on the receiving end. If you guys were good together then it wouldn't have been so on/off so soon xx

But if I see him he really doesn't act as if he isn't interested - it's all just words isn't it

Is the whirlwind romance with someone new and not the long term partner ? Or are they the same person?

How do you know he has deleted your number?

Have you been on any dates recently?

No, the LTR ended before Xmas then I met new guy (who this thread is about) in march. All happened very fast

He told me a little while ago when I saw him that he had. Hate how he can see me and say he misses me, he thinks about me a lot etc but can erase me and not worry if he ever speaks to me again. Men can be so harsh

No dates since things with him ended, haven't felt like it to be honest

I'm sorry you're going this ,it doesn't sound as if he considers your feelings so I think you're best to move on from this.

Give yourself time to heal a bit and remove him from any social media you have and delete his number. Actively trying not to think about him, reading a book at night really helped me as night time was the time I missed my ex the most and started thinking about him.

Try and get back out there in terms of dating. Maybe sign up for online dating , you may not feel like it now but it may give you a little confidence boost and something else to think about...

Thank you lefty, appreciate it. I know my "problem" isn't half as bad as some people's but it does really get me down

Be patient with yourself, it's ok to feel not ok about how things were left but I would definitely try getting back on the dating aspect. If you started dating in march for 5 months, that means things dwindled July/August . I think it's acceptable to start talking to other people now, even if it's just checking out online profiles and exchanging small talk . It can help.

You won't feel like this forever , it passes , thankfully ! Xx