My MiL has form for getting very upset when she doesn't get her own way and dealing out punishments to DH and I as a result e.g. you don't get a birthday/ Christmas card or present, don't get invited to things and she won't answer the phone to you for 3 weeks. She also ropes in her middle age daughter to do similar things although I am not sure if she is doing it because she is ordered to or she gets in a mood with us after listening to MIL rant on and agrees that DH and I are upsetting her. These punishments are as a result of things like not going to MIL's for Easter, not inviting her on your weekends away and having friends that you do things with and not making her family your only priority. Basically she thinks she should be consulted on and included in everything.
Anyway, we are seeing them over Christmas. We were supposed to spend Christmas all together this year but they don't want to (another punishment) so we are seeing them another day. From the outside you would think there wasn't anything wrong because they are very good at playing happy families and will be all smiley nice when we see them, but then she won't send us a card or get us a gift because we don't deserve it.
I'd really love my DH to tell his mum to grow up but he won't and he just sucks it up. As for me, on one hand I don't care if she doesn't get me anything but my blood is boiling that they (mostly SIL) take it out on my DC. I think that is really bad.
Not sure how to handle it when we see them. On one hand my blood pressure may just explode if they start playing happy families whilst snubbing my DC and think it may be a good idea to let rip. On the other I think maybe I should play them at their own game and be all smiley nice, totally ignore any snubs coming from their side and be all gushy about how I'm looking forward to Christmas and drop in all the great things I've booked for us. I know that sounds equally as childish but MIL always looks for a reaction to her nastiness and I want her to know that our world keeps turning despite her efforts to knock my family off its axis.
How would you handle this Christmas BS?