I'm not sure where to start with this really and have changed my name. Not looking for sympathy, but a sense of proportion IYKWIM.
Me and dh are having a particularly difficult time at the moment. We have had an enormous amount of strains on our relationship since we married, involving illness, bereavements etc which are far too complicated to go in to here.
Anyway, we've managed to battle our way through all this and are still together (also have had 2 small children in that time).
I know everyone has rows and arguments, but I feel that recently things have gone too far. Things dh has said and done in the last few weeks have really affected the way I feel about him.
I need to say here that I am by no means perfect, and can be a moody so and so if he has upset me.
A few weeks ago during a row (about DIY and money), he called me a stupid c**t.
He has NEVER spoken to me like that before. I was really shocked and hurt. Eventually he apologised and said it was because I "push him too far".
I know its only words, but it took me a while to get over him saying this, and made it clear that he was not to speak to me like that again, no matter how angry or frustrated he is.
Things settled down again until yesterday. Another row, which started because he had promised to fix the phone line (he had cut it by accident working in the garden at the weekend) and 3 days later he still had not done it, so I tried to tell him it was causing me problems (mobile reception very poor so couldn't really use that).
Anyway, an argument ensued and I told him he was manipulative, because he tends to take the stance that problems arise because I make unreasonable demands on him (eg ask him if he is going to fix the phone line which he said he would do the day before).
He then came right up to my face and sort of snarled at me about not being manipulative, whilst pushing me back with his body IYSWIM.
He then told me I was a "dirty cow" and a f
useless lump.
At this point I lost my sense of reason and lashed out at him, thumping his arm a few times. Feel very ashamed about this as its inexcusable to use violence. Being stronger than me, he was able to restrain me.
I kind of dissolved into tears at this point, and he went to get stuff to fix the phone line (he had told me he had everything he needed to do it already and it was relatively straightforward).
When he came back, I was still very upset. He then told me that he called me a dirty cow because I smelt of urine and had done for months. He was being very "matter of fact" as he said it, as if this was perfectly acceptable.
He claims to have told me about this "problem" months ago, but as I still smell, that's why he called me a dirty cow. Apparently, I smell of it in bed and its a ploy of mine to keep him away from me.
I was mortified by all this and rang my sister in quite a state as I needed someone to talk to. Among other things, she told me I do not smell of urine and never have done. She also said the fact that our youngest sleeps in with us (still a baby), could account for any urine smells, given that babies wear nappies.
I can't bear to look at my dh. I went out to the cinema on my own last night so I didn't have to sit with him, plus I slept on the sofa last night.
Am I being over-sensitive. I feel very hurt and humiliated.