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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

This was deliberate ?

6 replies

realisationshock · 02/12/2017 09:14

Years ago when I had my first child I was living in an emotionally abusive environment and hugely manipulated. It was awful. I was a teenager so I couldnt get away.
My first pregnancy I had been forced to terminate and my second although I kept I was kept in/phone taken or charger so I often had no contact with anyone. I was very much trapped.

When I was in hospital I was taken to a room , had my bag and phone in it. I was going to call my bf.....then I was moved to another room and between rooms my bag and phone totally disappeared. I was in agony and not long after had an emcs. As I had no phone i was then not able to CL tact anyone. I asked DM to. She said she had. I waited and nobody turned up. Three hours later my bf turned up. Dm said the next day my bag had been found in another part of the hospital....

Stupidly it only dawned on me yesterday. She took it didn’t she ? Between the two rooms then she didn’t call him immediately like she said. Why this bothers me all these years later I don’t know but why didn’t I put 2 and 2 together sooner I thought for all these years it had been lost ?? Feel slightly ridiculous even going over this now but it’s so obvious and I just didn’t think
Just adds something else to everything that’s happened

OP posts:
pollythedolly · 02/12/2017 09:30

Hi OP. To clarify, the abusive relationship is with your mother?

realisationshock · 02/12/2017 09:32

Yes that’s correct sorry I probably didn’t make that clear

OP posts:
Dadaist · 02/12/2017 12:09

You know - remembering things - seeing them in a new light, realising the truth of how things were - these can be signs that you are healing. They mean the person you are now wouldn’t be so easily manipulated - that you are stinger and more in control. So if it’s bothering you and yet was long ago perhaps you need to see this as a growth pain. To experience the hurt and understand it and let it fade. And move on to accept who you were then and who you are now. The person you were needs comforting and perhaps only now are you strong enough to give it?

Dadaist · 02/12/2017 12:11

*Stronger not stinger!

Bluntness100 · 02/12/2017 12:12

What did your partner say at the time on why he had turned up three hours later and when your mum called him?

debbs77 · 02/12/2017 12:17

Oh I assumed your partner was emotionally abusive!

Definitely sounds like your mum did it.

I once dreamt that my ex husband had had an affair before he had the affair he left me for. Suddenly EVERYTHING clicked into place

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