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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Scaring Him Away :(

17 replies

diarymilk · 19/04/2007 13:34

I've been with my partner for about 9 months, we met at work and got together a few weeks after we first met, we don't live together or anything but we close close and spend a few nights a week with each other.

Anyway I have always had an OTT sense of humour, I laugh at anything and everything and always have, I'm also one of these people that continues to laugh, tears streaming down face etc whenever everyone else has stopped, I just can't help it.

To make matters worse I also suffer from a nervous laugh meaning someone could tell me a family member had died and I'll just burst out laughing, even though I don't mean to and I try so hard not to.

Anyway this really seemed to bother my partner at first, he was constantly asking what I was laughing at, sometimes he would laugh along when I told him, other times he would just give me a 'look' and carry on with what he was doing. It got worse as the relationship continued to the point where he'd just have to walk into the room and as soon as he spoke I'd burst out laughing. A number of times he told me to stop taking the piss out of him etc and I know I'm getting on his nerves but I just can't help it.

Yesterday he bought Mean Machine DVD for us to watch, as soon as it started I had a laughing fit, pretended I was laughing at the film, he gave a bit of a 'look' but laughed along anyway but I just couldnt stop, I was lying on him meaning even though I was being quiet about it he could feel me shaking with laughter. He started ignoring me in the end and I could tell he was getting angry which just made it worse, by the end of it I had tears streaming down my face, a pain in my side, my throat was hurting (I have an infection anyway and laughing/crying makes it flare up). The only time I could stop was when something genuinly funny came on the DVD and my laughter switched from 'manic' to normal humour.

Last night he was reading sky news and looked at a story about heart attacks, he mentioned that is what happened to his grandad a couple of months ago and as soon as he said it I could feel a lump in my throat and I had to quickly leave the room before I started laughing, I hoped to god he didnt realise but I'm sure he did.

I know people are going to accuse me of being a troll but I'm not, I seriously think I'm going to lose him, he thinks I'm constantly taking the piss but I just cant stop it, I really dont know why it happens, I've heard of others having a nervous laugh but not to this extent.

Not really sure if I'm asking for advice or just wanting to 'offload' about it all, I just cant stop thinking about it, last night he seemed quite angry although he never said anything.

OP posts:
Lllllllllllledodgy · 19/04/2007 13:37

If this is true and you've been going out with him for 9 months and he's only just mentioned his grandad had a heart attack a couple of months ago the relationship can't be that close anyway I would think.

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 19/04/2007 13:39

You need to get some help for your nervous disorder. Your GP would be a good start.

diarymilk · 19/04/2007 13:40

It is true.

I knew his grandad had died a few months ago, I just didnt know how since he went into hospital ill and when DP told me about it he just said "he's died" as he was obviously upset I didnt ask for details.

OP posts:
Lllllllllllledodgy · 19/04/2007 13:43

Then I agree with shiny your gp would be a good start he maybe able to offer you some cbt or some other form of counselling.

WigWamBam · 19/04/2007 13:45

Have you told him that this is a nervous affliction that you have, or have you just let him keep believing that you're taking the piss?

I agree with Shiny, you need help for this nervous disorder and the GP would be a good place to start.

diarymilk · 19/04/2007 14:09

I told him it's a nervous laugh and he seemed ok with that at the time but he still gets annoyed whenever I start laughing. I'm not sure what I'd say to the doctor...

It's not just in front of people either, I could be walking down the street, something will pop into my head and I'll burst out laughing, I'm starting to wonder if I'm crazy, other people must think so sometimes.

OP posts:
themoon66 · 19/04/2007 14:15

Do you feeling like you are laughing inside,
or is it just muscles and stuff doing the laughing physiology without your head being involved? IYSWIM.

doggiesayswoof · 19/04/2007 14:15

See your GP - you are not 'crazy' but sounds like you could do with sorting this out.
If your relationship is close you should be able to have a proper talk with him about this. Or write him an email if you are worried you would laugh while trying to talk to him.

diarymilk · 19/04/2007 14:27

Sometimes I am laughing on the inside but I honestly don't know why, yesterday day time for instance we went to the bank, he went to the desk whilst I stood in the background to wait for him. Anyway I saw the woman talking to him and he responded by smiling and it just cracked me up, I was laughing that much that someones little girl was staring at me. DP turned around and mouthed "what?" and it just made it 10 times worse, I was creased over but I couldn't say what made me laugh so much, I just found it so funny.

I don't think all of it is a nervous laugh, some of it is (like laughing at the worst possible times...that IS just a physical reaction rather than actually finding something funny) but other times I do find things funny, I just don't know why and cant explain it.

When we were watching Mean Machine for instance, everytime DP laughed his eyes all creased up and I found that hilarious and pretended to poke him in the eye each time, he just laughed along at first but then started to say "stop doing that" and I could see him trying not to laugh too much incase I pretended to poke his eye again. I was only doing it for a laugh (wouldnt have really done it!) but the fact that he tried to stop laughing to prevent it made it absolutely hilarious to me and made me worse.

He says he understands and has suggested that I see a physciatrist (??) but I'm not sure he was being serious or taking the mick.

I have told him that I'm not actually laughing AT him but to be truthful, sometimes I am, I just can't explain why...

OP posts:
Blu · 19/04/2007 14:32

Why did you poke him in the eye?

diarymilk · 19/04/2007 14:34

I didn't, I was just pretending to. Its because ages ago we were having a laugh about wrinkles, I was winding him up saying he was getting old etc and he was insistant that I had more wrinkles so I pointed out that when he laughed his eyes all creased up and it because a long running joke. So whilst watching the film I pointed to his eyes each time he laughed but the more I did it the funnier it became and I could see he was getting tired of it and it just make me want to do it more, I really don't understand why.

OP posts:
JodieG1 · 19/04/2007 14:36

I think you should see your gp

dumbymummy · 19/04/2007 14:39

Are you having a laugh???

WigWamBam · 19/04/2007 14:42

You need help.

diarymilk · 19/04/2007 14:44

I know but what can a doctor do, there is nothing he could do for me.

OP posts:
WigWamBam · 19/04/2007 14:50

Of course there is.

If this is for real (and I am having problems believing it, to be honest) then it's a case of seeing the GP or eventually losing your partner - and running the risk of losing future partners too.

obimomkanobi · 19/04/2007 14:55

Do you have children?

What do they make of your maniacal laughter?

Mwahahahaha.. sorry, nervous habit.

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