Help me chose and Engagement Ring?

[MadAboutYou]

I am planning on proposing to my GF on Christmas Eve (which is sort of our anniversary although my brother told me this is tacky, so maybe you can help on that too)

I want to get her a ring but I have a shamefully small budget of around £250-300. She has said before she wouldn't be bothered about a ring but I think it would be nice for her to have something.

She doesn't like diamonds as she thinks they are exploitative so I have been googling alternatives but I have no idea what to pick.

When my twin brother got engaged last year he got his gf a ruby and diamond ring and she had said she thought the coloured stone was really nice, so maybe I would get her something like that?

If i take her with me to buy something she will just feel guilty about the money so I really want to surprise her, even though that might also be a bad idea.

help?

In the daytime is a vibrant clear blue colour, nighttime ina. Poorly lit room like I am now it's almost black.

example 1

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You haven't got a massive amount of time, but have you got any local auction houses with a jewellery sale before Christmas? Second hand jewellery can be very good value.

I would go for a band ring with stones considering what you said about your girlfriend wearing gloves at work.

Just for info but you can easily get ethical diamonds. I have ones that were mined in Australia and ones that were mined in Canada.

It's hard to guarantee quite how 'ethical' other gemstones are. Diamonds get a bad rap but some other gemstones can be just as dodger too.

One thing to consider with topaz is that it's nearly always been treated or 'enhanced' in order to get the vivid blue colour. Personally, I much prefer gem stones that are completely natural. I feel like if the colour is man made you might as well get a totally man made stone. (Then you can get something bigger, sparklier, more durable and which are guaranteed to be ethical.)

BTW I like the idea of getting something second hand.

How important is the metal the band is made from? Sterling silver or 9k or 14/18k platinum palladium? Should I get a good band and smaller stone or good stone and cheaper band?

Could you select a stone for your GF's ring on her favourite colour? There's usually a nice stone in most colours...
also Christmas Eve is perfect as long as you're confident she'll say yes as if not would make for an awkward Christmas...

You want a good band as you don't want it to tarnish; it needs to stand the tests of time. I'd go the best band with the best stone you can afford. Same level of band to stone ratio ...

From the info you’ve provided I still think it’d be best to propose romantically, in the next few weeks, write her a beautiful love letter or something, then take her shopping to buy a ring (or lovely earrings if she prefers! Given her work restrictions) together, letting her know the budget but insisting on spending it on jewelry.

You don’t know enough about her preferences to be sure of getting it right.

I don’t wear my engagement ring for work but still love it.

Actually, I think you should propose on the upcoming festive shopping trip! Romantic!

You may be right dozer. Since I decided I wanted to do it I’ve just wanted to ask her every time she smiles. I just sort of want a surprise but also I should get it right, and that probably means her knowing

Do you think I could just drag her into a shop with rings and do it there and then or is that mortifying?

Don't buy her opals if it's not her birthstone - it is unlucky. Love the idea of proposing on Xmas eve.

Definitely gold or platinum but platinum may be too expensive for your budget. Not silver.

www.fraserhart.co.uk/9ct-white-gold-diamond-and-sapphire-ring-3.html

I have this one. It is over budget, but it is sapphire and is pretty.

Get a ring for her (even if she ends up changing it). You need to show you've given the ring and the proposal thought

Fraser Hart one is lovely! I think you could get a very similar ring else where cheaper.

You could go to a local silver Smith and ask them to design something. Have a look at their designs and stones for inspiration.
They propose with the diagram. That way if you have got it a bit wrong she can alter the design, use a different stone etc. My wedding/ engagement ring is silver with a rainbow moonstone. and a simple but unusual band. I had it designed and made for me for £120 about 10 years ago. I love it. so personal.

I'd get something eyewateringly vulgar from QVC....and then choose something together later.
Some of the fake sparklers on there are very pretty and great fun!

Aww, aren't you lovely

I would have loved a vintage ring, although I'm very into vintage stuff generally. My husband made a big effort of choosing my ring though - it's beautiful and not too over the top / flashy, I absolutely love it. It is a diamond, and was probably double your budget at least, but would have been cheaper with a different stone I'm sure.

Bear in mind a couple of things:

1. if you go for white gold, it will need replating every couple of years (or if you're like me, you'll leave it 7 years and it will start to look like yellow gold!)
2. Go for a setting where the band is straight across - mine is twisted around the stone (lower underneath the stone, higher above it) which is beautiful BUT meant we had to have a wedding ring made especially to fit around it which was therefore more expensive than just buying one. My husband didn't realise this when he picked it.

I'd go vintage - you get way more for your money. This site is good: selling antiques

Aw this thread is so exciting! I wear gloves for work, it isn't the claws that hold the stone so much as the stone itself that gets in the way. I have a gorgeous gold band with a sapphire set into it if you see what I mean, so the stone is flush with the band. It is a vintage ring and the stone is quite small. Done thing slug those lines could be nice maybe?
I reckon you should ask her on your walk and go straight to the ring shop! Maybe try and check in the shop first though that they have a few things that might be suitable to avoid disappointment.

Dragging her all the way into the actual shop might be unsubtle! And public: some women would hate being proposed to in public.

But if she you could suggest a shopping trip then move towards a window of a nice, in budget jeweler!

I wished for my now DH to propose for a while and we used to go shopping in the Lanes in Brighton, I’d fantasise he’d propose like that, but alas not!

Plan what to say. What you say, whether in person or writing, is much more important than the ring IMO!

You need to but it online. High store retailers charge a massive premium.

I also did not want a diamond and wanted a big stone! We ended up going for a rose gold ring with oval champagne sapphire. I absolutely love it and I am so glad I got to chose it.

Morganites are very similar looking to sapphires and much cheaper. I think you should get her one off Etsy like this

www.etsy.com/uk/listing/559436195/7mm-round-morganite-engagement-ring-rose

www.etsy.com/uk/listing/566507511/low-cost-9mm-round-morganite-engagement

Very in fashion right now!

You are running out of time so may need to filter for uk sellers

Also my now fiancé proposed with a ring out of a xmas cracker and we then choose my actual ring together if that’s any help....