Tips on how to get on with family

[ElsieMay123]

They say you can chose your friends but not your family, and I really feel that at this time of year. Christmas is coming, with the usual round of catch up visits and perhaps a little longer than comfortable in each other's company, so wondering if people have any survival tips?

I don't actively dislike any of my family, it's just that we don't have much in common (I doubt we would be friends if it wasn't for the family connection) and really have quite different views on some things so certain topics are best avoided. I'm sure they would say the same about me so there's no malice but oh goodness I find it a struggle. I don't want to be difficult or rub people up the wrong way, but I don't want their little ways to drive me up the wall either. What can I do?!? 'Cutting people off' seems so desperate, and it's really not that bad, more of a 'why bother' situation. Help me find the joy in family?

You need both firm and consistently applied boundaries when dealing with such people.

Keep all visits short.

This article may also assist:-

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2011/dec/23/how-to-survive-family-Christmas

Drink. Make sure there's plenty of gin in the house, block it out.

Be busy with work. That's my plan anyway!

So with you op! Me and husband are both only children, neither of us have very much in common and both sets of parents are COMPLETLY different to each other. Normally we drive round the country for these awkward visits on Christmas Day, this year we’ve invited them to ours - at least we can drink being the thinking!!! We also have a game to play. Hoping that will kill at least an hour.

Short visits only. Go to them where possible, rather than hosting, so you can leave when you want to. Never stay with anyone in their home: there's bound to be a hotel or B&B nearby which will give you somewhere to escape to. Lower your expectations, and try to remember that Christmas is stressful for lots of people, and we can't know what's going on in other people's lives. Be as easy to get on with as you can. If you're asked if you'd prefer X or Y, don't say you don't mind: have a preference, it's easier for your hosts to deal with. If things go wrong, offer to help and treat the disaster lightly. Give bottles of wine out wherever you go. Don't get involved in gossip.

BREATHE.

And don't forget that it's only a few days, and not worth getting riled up about.