Sex after baby....not good

[littlebitshy]

Gosh this is a bit embarassing so I have changed my name...I have a 5 month old and just started to get back into sex over the last few weeks. Let's just say it's "different" DH used to be a lot more aherm "into" my Mimsy and now he just, well basically pops it in with v little foreplay at all. Also my nipples are really de-sensitised for some bizarre reason (BF for a few weeks only) and it just dosen't feel the same, or as good.
What I would like your opinions on is this: is there any particular reason DH would not like to give oral down below anymore? Any guys out there who can shed any light on this? and WTF has happened to the sensitivity of my body? will it return over time?

Keep up those pelvic floor excercises......you'll be back to near normal eventually....took me almost a year and now i'm thinking about another one??

DH tired because you have a 5 month old?

I have no shame and got a mirror to have a look at thr 'repair' job as I tore badly. I think it's normal to be a bit paranoid after such a major event. I think the most useful thing you could do is ask your DH...

HOW ARE YOUR MOME RATHS?

sorry

Your dh is being a lazy fucker. Literally.

On the nipple side - I bf for 4 months and thought my nipples were de-sexualised for ever, but no, the sensitivity does come back, can't remember how long it took but it does. [phew]

Oh thank god for that Furball, it just dosen't "feel" as good as it used too and when I asked he said I was still tight as before. I think I may have to ask him what the problem is...I have lost all baby weight and put some fake tan on, new haircut etc...he just dosen't seem as into it at all anymore

hi littlebitshy,

Wrt your DH not wanting to perform oral, assuming he was at the birth he may be having difficulty "reconnecting" in his mind your bits with sex, rather than with producing a baby (esp, if it was a traumatic birth).

Also, with the usual sleep deprivation etc, of a young child, his libido is likely low, and is likely rather tired, and its quite common for men(and women) in that situation to take "shortcuts" with sex, because they dont have the energy or drive to put more effort into it iykwim.

Thats not to say you should docilely accept the situation - best have a chat to DH about it. You know your DH best, so you'll know whether to to some verbal arse-kiicking or a more gentle "big-him-up-then-pop-the-delicate-question" approach.

never ever lost the sensitivity in my nipples, and i am still breast feeding!
Sex is back to normal now, probably took 6 mths after we resumed to get back to where we are!
Perhaps he is tired? And i think you need to chat to him about your needs and how you feel. But away from the bedroom scene when you are both relaxed and sex isnt an issue.

hi aliitle bit,

my nipples have only gone back to normal now as I am pg when no.2 (dd is 18 months)!! So maybe get pg again?

Seriously is it to do with you as well - worrying it isn't as good for him? And also physically different as in drier? I know this happens to a lot of women, myself included. I found that I needed loads and loads of foreplay, much more than before, and once I was at the stage of being really into it, then dp was too. So I'm basically wondering whether you are both worrying a bit about what the other one is thinking and this is stopping you both enjoying it properly?

Just remember this is entirely entirely normal and it will get better with time. Good luck

Hi littlebit

My DH was at birth and as he went out of room after birth, before stitches (had bad tear) he went out to loo...and had a good look at me as he went out of room. Off foreplay for at least 6 months... and told me exactly why he was off it. Just could not get the image out of his head!

Ask him if he was traumatised by the birth and see what comes out!