Why do men get the better deal?

[Nevergiveupdreaming]

My DH seems to come and go as he pleases and it’s really getting me down.

We both work and have 4 dc

I plan my work around dc and arrange all childcare.
He has one day per week off when he does School runs and looks after dc4.
He has applied for and got a new job where he will be working on that day. It’s great that he has a new job, I’m pleased for him. However he has just shirked his responsibility for childcare on that day and hasn’t even considered a solution. Yet again it’s all left to me. I have had to reduce my hours at my job so I can do school run and put dc4 in nursery for the extra day. I will loose money, he will gain money!

Anytime dc are I’ll its me who takes time off to care for them.

I have tried talking to him about it but he just turns it into an argument and says I don’t want him to have a new job etc etc.

Aibu?

I think part of the problem is that you have previously arranged work around your D.C., and childcare. He’s clearly thinking it’s not his problem. You’ve got to make it his problem. Don’t let the subject drop

I am wondering though if h

*i am wondering though if he is just as useless at anything else. Does he usually leave everything to you?

Came on to recommend the facilitated thread.

He's not useless btw

It's just easier for him if you do it.

You have far bigger problems - the way you split your finances isn't fair (and I accept there's more than one way to skin a cat!) and you don't even sound like you like each other.

I would stick to the line that your work refused your request to change your hours.

If that means childcare bill goes up, use this opportunity to rejig who is paying what.

You get what you put up with, to a certain extent. I travel for work. I did do the nursery research, but I chose one with long enough hours to fit XH (then H)'s work. It was always my expectation - not negotiable - thar he would pick up when I was away.

You sound like you'll give in to avoid the argument. This is one time when you REALLY should stand your ground. Not least because I predict divorce as a very real possibility for you one day so it's not a good idea to make yourself financially weaker now!

Men get the better deal because they feel they are entitled to it.

Why do men get a better deal....

Because when the chips are down you are talking about your children and where they will be spending the day. So “ just let him do it” “don’t enable”’etc. is not easy to deliver on . It’s wrong on so many levels but in RL difficult to solve. No wise words from me he knows he’s been a shit and just doesnt care. In fact I would simply state that. Good luck

You are paying more out than he is. Do you earn more? If not he is taking te piss

Why on earth don't you open a joint bank account where x percentage of each of your wages goes in and then everything is taken out of that shared pot?! Or even just leave x amount of both wages for disposable income in your individual accounts, and a joint account for all the rest? Your system now is shit.
and why on earth did you agree to reduce your hours if you don't want to unless the whole family benefits? I wouldn't, Id make him pay thendifference in childcare and a babysitter for that day.