Partner died - now dating someone else

[helpmeworkthisout2017]

I have NC for this as it could be quite outing.

In late 2015 my partner died suddenly. I had a good friend I had known since school supporting me a lot during that time as both my parents had passed away and I don't live anywhere near the rest of my family.

Friend and I started dating about 6 months after partner's death. We took things very slow. He is very understanding and respectful of partner and if I see something/hear something/smell something that reminds me of partner he tells me it is okay to miss partner and be upset.

I am just feeling guilty. I love new partner but there are days like today where I hate the world for being so cruel and taking partner away from me, where I miss partner so much I feel like I can't breathe. Then I feel guilty, like I am cheating on new partner.

Other days I have so much fun with new partner, am happy and loving life and a few days later I will think of partner and feel guilty that I am moving on, that I didn't think of partner for a few days etc.

I feel like I love them both, if that makes sense.

Sorry if this doesn't make sense, I am trying to organise my thoughts.
Has anyone been in a similar situation? How did you cope?

Not much advice but I was wondering if you have had any bereavement counselling or would return to it. Not to address the feelings you still have because they are totally valid but to help you with the guilt. You aren't cheating and you aren't forgetting your deceased partner so its this feeling of guilt that you need a little help with.

Best of luck.

I have in the past - stopped about 4 months ago. Sorry typo in original post - should say 16 MONTHS not 6 months

Sorry you have gone through this. I couldn't imagine the pain. Have you read about the stages of grieving? Sound like you are going through anger and guilt. The final stage is acceptance. It doesn't sound like you are there yet. I wonder if you've given yourself enough time between your partner passing and getting into a new relationship? He sounds lovely and very supportive but you're still grieving and it doesn't sound like you're giving yourself the time to do it. I'm not saying to leave him ect ECT but I just wonder since you're obviously not at the acceptance stage as you're feeling like you're cheating ECT if it's maybe been too soon for you and causing extra upset/stress for you. I hope this is coming across right and doesn't sound like I'm criticising you.

You deserve happiness.
the fact that you survived this is incredible and i admire you. your late partner would not want you to stop dating altogether, your late partner would want you to do this.

It I've never been through this but I can I imagine it's very confusing. Maybe it would help to talk it through with a counsellor?