is he just slowly ghosting after his declaration of love?

[lozza16]

I just need some advice because I feel like im being highly irrational. I met a guy about 3 months ago. From the get go we got on ridiculously. We would have phone calls for hours and hours and we just clicked. We met up and I felt so comfortable it was like instant falling in love. We have met up every weekend and just had so much fun. Ive never had anyone make me feel like this before. Im aware I shouldn’t get too carried away so I have kept my feelings kind of to myself. We agreed to be together properly. He admitted he was falling in love with me a couple of days ago, after that our contact has been a bit weird an dstilted. We have had a few phone calls and he said hes scared of it ending and he doesn’t want to stop talking to me, but the texts are getting further between and our phone calls are only a few minutes here and there. We are long distance at the moment due to him working away for a short while and he assured me he was still coming to see me but we haven’t spoken. Why do I feel so needy and weird ?

Unfortunately, he's not quite as keen. What you're feeling is completely normal. It may be that he's scared by his own emotions ( or a bit of a tit) but lets hope its the first one. Don't contact him, let him contact you and do some of the running.

Don’t panic. You need to talk to one another in person. Call him to arrange your next time together and then be nice and bright and breezy whilst looking forward to seeing you. Then when you are properly connected, in Real Life, tell him how you feel and that it’s best not to rush too much and you’ve no wish to scare him off.

He just sounds a bit overwhelmed. From what you’ve said he sounds genuine.

I think he may well have "shotgun love declaration"'remorse. Doesnt have to mean the end. Just means you're now different to how it was before it. Did you say it too?

I get that he might not be as keen but he's the one who initiated the love talk. He said he doesn't want to stop seeing me but then his actions don't match as of now. We were meant to meet today but we haven't spoken at all. I already text something light and breezy and he ignored

People can and do change their mind, OP. Regardless of who initiates anything.

How old are you both.? Sometimes you can get carried away when in the moment and maybe now he's just panicked at the love words

Also when he said he was falling in love what was your response

If you were supposed to have been meeting tonight, I think it’s reasonable to give him a quick ring to find out what’s happened. If he doesn’t answer then I’d say that ghosting seems on the cards.

Yes, buyers’ remorse. You need to pull right back and see what he does.

Men are weird like this. At the start they want to see you all the time, and if you give in they get all hot & heavy in no time flat then suddenly decide that you’re not right for them. You never know the minute.

Chasing after him now will have the opposite effect to what you want. He’s the one acting weird. You don’t need to force a confrontation.

I don't mean to be indicate but I assume you've been to bed together?

There's no need to be indicate!

Sorry, indelicate

Hours on the phone? Who has time for that.

Hi, we have been to bed together, he didn't come as he said he was so so busy with work. He had been trying to come and he was really annoyed because he wanted to see me. I guess that's my answer really

When I was dating I tended to find those that were quickest to announce their feelings, were also the quickest to disappear unexpectedly. In the early days it's best to judge by their actions rather than their words. Take everything with a pinch of salt, if it works out and everything they say is true then great, and if not you won't be too invested.

Too busy to phone or text?

In my expereance if someone wants to see you they will, if something important comes up they will phone to let you know what’s happened.

I think he’s getting cold feet or maybe dating someone else. I have been dating for several years and I have had several men declare undying love for me after a few dates and then they just go cold and vanish .

I would give him until the weekend to pull his finger out and arrange seeing you, if he carries on being flakey then walk away.

He did call me and he sounded genuinely sorry that he couldn't come but that's not the point to me. If we're doing this long distance we need to make an effort. I've already decided if he doesn't sort anything out for the weekend I'll be done.

I think a lot of men (and women) are over keen at the beginning, but once it gets all serious they can’t handle it. Maybe that is what’s happening here?

I would back off a bit and see if he puts in the effort, if he doesn’t then you know he’s not that into you.