Hi All - I had my DS 4 months ago. I'm originally from the UK but have been living on the other side of the world for the past 2 years with my DP. I had a very traumatic labour and I'm only just starting to feel like myself again. I ended up having an emergency c section and I'm struggling to come to terms with the changes to my body. I can't even look at the scar or look at myself in a mirror. When my DS was 4 weeks old I found out DP had been watching porn throughout my pregnancy. This is despite the fact we continued to have a regular and fulfilling sex life all through the pregnancy. I'm so upset and feeling awful about myself. I keep comparing myself to porn stars. I feel so angry as well - 2 years ago i gave up everything to move to his home country and he couldn't even give up watching porn for me. I've got myself in such a state that I've decided I want to leave him. The problem is we are unmarried and I gave birth to my son in DPs home country so I can't just come back to the UK. So as not to drip feed there is some history - 2 months into the relationship he slept with another woman - I only found this out when I was pregnant. Please help I'm so confused and feeling very fragile.