Perimenopause and lack of libido

[alwaysbiscuits]

I've just found out this year that I've entered the perimenopausal phase and amongst many un-fun symptoms, my sex drive has petered out to nothing much. My partner is getting frustrated and worried, but I feel that the demands of family life plus my hormonal yo-yo are just sucking me dry. I have 2 young kids and they are always jumping up and down on me, and then when I hit the pillow all I want to do is read a bloody book! Plus is it out of order of me to ask my partner to wear some boxer shorts in bed (he sleeps in the buff), because when we spoon to go to sleep I find the sensation of his willy jammed up against my leg at night really really pressurising, forever reminding me that we're not having much sex at the mo! He didn't react well when I asked! Anyone else out there going through similar???

How old are you?
Sounds like you are tired from the kids and has no energy for sex because of them.

I can't advise on the bulk of your post but I always sleep naked unless it's absolutely bitterly freezing (so very rarely). If I was your OH I wouldn't opt to wear boxers. I'd just stop spooning you.

I'm early forties. I don't know anyone who isn't tired from their kids!

Yep, me too. Think it's normal!

I am surprised to hear about so many perimenopausal women in their late thirties and early forties. I think it is way too early to go through that. You must be tired and have a lack of libido because of motherhood.

Are you sure you are perimenopausal? That seems 10 years too soon!

I'm finding this hard to relate to, as I am 47, no signs of menopause yet, still got very high libido, and my kids are adults.

Are you sure this isn't just the tiredness of having small children at an older age than is the norm?

Perhaps see the GP to confirm?

I don't think asking your DH to wear boxers to bed is a good idea. It's a bit of a rejection.

Could you get babysitters and have a date night now and again, to re-ignite a spark?

Perimenopause has huge parameters and can often start mid 30s often lasting for over a decade so the op is unlikely to be wrong if she’s had it confirmed.
OP, if you find someone sympathetic or who specialises in female reproductive health you may qualify for hrt.
Failing this you can try many supplements and dietary changes to help to balance your hormones.
I have tried some powders etc whilst waiting for hrt which I found helpful.

Libido might be low because you’re parenting small children in your forties, presumably working and just knackered.
My friend has notoriously low libido and has been taking an amino acid for eczema and the side effect is her libido is through the roof. It’s called NAC but I know nothing about it. Worth looking into.

I'd be really offended if I was asked to wear clothes in bed..... Can't sleep unless I'm naked and yes the peri-menopause can kick in anytime around 40's. Everyone is different.