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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I just don't know what to do anymore

2 replies

Mummypig09 · 27/11/2017 12:31

I have been with OH for quite a few years, although it's never been a smooth ride, we've taken the good with the bad and got on with things. I suffer with a mental health condition which started shortly after the birth of our toddler and am undergoing treatment for. I currently work from home (freelance) and earn just enough to cover my expenses and toddlers childcare, OH pays for the household bills and I'm quite reliant on him (I think because of my mental health condition I feel vulnerable)
Long story short, we just do not get on at all, he's nasty and I constantly live on egg shells for when he comes home from work and has a nark on and starts going on about my lack of tidying or hovering or whatever....you name it, if it's not been done its my fault. He says he loves me but deep down, I know its not true and he's with me purely because it seems easier to stay together. He's called me lazy, fat and ugly along with other names (I'm not the size 8 immaculately turned out person I was pre-illness and pre-toddler) He genuinely believes all of his problems are caused by me: eg. because I don't earn a massive income, he thinks that's because we haven't been able to go on holiday or whatever the problem is, somehow it gets turned back on me to be my fault.
All this being said, he is a fantastic father and idolises our LO and I know he'd do anything for LO.
Despite being desperately unhappy, I feel so reliant on him, both emotionally and financially that I can't bring myself to leave. My family think he is amazing and even when I've tried to explain I'm unhappy, they just think I should suck it up and get on with it. Not very supportive at all.
I did move out about 12 months ago, however it was short lived as OH said he'd seen the error in his ways and for a while, everything seemed better.
Also, part of my reliance and not being in a position to leave boils down to the fact I just can't afford to.
I don't really know what answers I expect to get off this post, however it feels good to get out how I'm feeling

OP posts:
munkynutts · 27/11/2017 12:44

You say it wasnt a smooth ride before your child was born.

What was he like before the birth?

Mummypig09 · 27/11/2017 12:55

We had our ups and downs but nothing major, I suppose like any normal relationship although there were a few issues surrounding money etc when I lost my job which we were financially reliant upon during my pregnancy

OP posts:
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