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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Trying again. Now I'm stuck.

3 replies

Choccywoccydoo10 · 26/11/2017 19:31

So bit of quick background. Me and DP have been together 3ish years. I say ish because last December we split. We began trying again around July time. Last year I had PND, think he was depressed too. He wasn't supportive at all and I finally upped and left.

Fast forward to now. I'm a lot Better, stronger, happier. I'm not sure I wanted to try out of loneliness or I did miss him. He is my best friend in that he knows me so well, we can have good chats etc. But this time round it's different I'm not so needy and feel like I don't need him as much.

He has his own issues and paid to do a course to help with his depression and to try and change Into a better person. I came across some of his sheets this weekend and quickly read a few. He knows exactly what his Downfalls are but feels he only acknowledge this when he sits down to do his course homrwork. So for example this weekend out D'S has been ill. I've run around looking after him and felt DP hasn't been much help. Snapping at me, being ungrateful, blaming me. It's only when he done his course homework he said sorry and then said how happy he is we are working it out and he loves me. Kind of feel like this is empty and I can see through it.

Will he ever change Into a man who can openly express his feelings? One that can be supportive and not mock? One that I don't feel like I have to walk on egg shells because he is in a general bad mood. My feeling is no but it's hard to walk away.

OP posts:
NotTheFordType · 26/11/2017 19:35

Will he ever change Into a man who can openly express his feelings? One that can be supportive and not mock? One that I don't feel like I have to walk on egg shells because he is in a general bad mood. My feeling is no but it's hard to walk away.

Maybe - but there's no requirement for you to stick around til that happens. He can become a reasonable adult all on his own. Did he sign you up as his therapist and personal development counsellor at the start of your relationship? No he didn't and if he wants to use you as that then he should be paying £100/hr as per the standard psychotherapist rate.

Choccywoccydoo10 · 26/11/2017 20:55

100 a hour you say Grin

No on a serious note I think 1. I'm scared of the loneliness 2. I feel guilty because of my DS (although it's no excuse) 3. I feel sorry for him (even though I know that's not a reason to stay) 4. I think I will miss him but I don't think I love him anymore.
I don't know what to do or how to break it off

OP posts:
Lifeisabeach09 · 26/11/2017 21:08

You'll be better off on your own.
Hard for you to see it but you will be so much happier without the stress of dealing with his shit. No more walking on eggshells!
And your son will be fine. He'll still have a dad--just not living with him full-time. Best to do it while he is young as he'll grow up being used to a co-parenting arrangement,

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