People's advice needed on how to address this situation with my husband/marriage

[Diamondgurl]

I've been with my now husband for 7 years and married for just over a year. At the start of our relationship he treated me very badly. I have no proof he actually cheated but he was messaging people on social media and texts. I had just come out of a long term relationship when I met him so I was vulnerable and took him back. This has always had a massive impact on our relationship as I have had trust issues with him to the point where I built a wall around me and wouldnt let him put a foot wrong and I would tell him as I didnt want to be made a mug of again. Things settled down and we had two children together and eventually got married. We've been arguing more than we've been getting along lately and I know I shouldn't of but I looked at his phone last night and found messages to a member of his family talking about tinder. My husband asked joking is that for one night stands to which the family member replied yeah I should get myself on to which my husband said so should I but knowing my luck I'd get caught at the other persons house and she'd start smashing my car up. The second message I found was between him and his friend who he went to school with and his best mate. In it he asked his mate could he remember such such from school. The friend replied yeah she was really good looking and my husband replied well she is in the yard at our son's school so must have a child there too he then said she's not amazing but she's still really good looking.
I haven't said a word yet. My gut instinct wants to chuck him out and tell him to shove his marriage but I don't know if I'm over reacting because he hasn't done anything. But then I want to punch his face in for how disrespectful he has been especially in our son's school yard eyeing women up. And who even jokes about cheating? Its never even entered my head before so therefore is an element of him wanting too cheat have a one night stand to joke about it? I've literally got a baby a few month old. I'm sitting here next to him, my hearts pounding and I just want to tell him I know what he's been saying as he's sitting like he's whiter than white.

What would you's do in my circumstances?

Any help or advice appreciated x

In your circumstances I would talk to him. Tell him what you found on his phone and how it made you feel.

I obviously don't know all that you know, but I think you might be overreacting to what you found. I'm happily married for 20 years and I occasionally notice a good looking man. I don't talk to anyone about it but it is normal I think to notice.

I think the joking about cheating is more worrisome, but the joke is not the same as the attempt or the act.

If you feel your marriage is not on the right path, would you and he consider couples counseling? It might be the best way to get both of your issues and concerns out there to be examined in the light of day.