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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How to advise DD over friend issue

1 reply

ABCEDFGHIJKMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ · 26/11/2017 08:32

DD has just started in secondary school and has a small group of close friends. When she started she noticed that one girl seemed to be disliked my everyone and she felt sorry for her so she made friends with her. Initially this was because she wanted this girl to have a friend and not be alone, but as time has gone on it has developed into a true friendship and she genuinely likes her now.

The trouble is this friend is VERY needy and clingy. Lots of hugs and annoyingly tactile. She makes a beeline for my DD at every point and DD has described the friendship as claustrophobic now. DD wants to remain a good friend to this girl, but she's at a point that can't cope with the neediness.

Can anyone give me some pointers as to how to advise her to help the situation without upsetting or alienating the friend. I'm a very direct person in RL and I think my rather unsubtle approach would not be appropriate in this case.

OP posts:
donners312 · 26/11/2017 09:34

Girl problems are th bane of a teenage girls mum for sure.

Your DD is so nice but she can't be expected to support this much neediness (although obviously feel sorry for this other girl)

If i was you I would advise DD to speak to a teacher and say exactly what you have said here or if she doesn't want to could you call her form teacher to explain and ask for the schools help?

Or you could suggest to DD that she gets more involved with a bigger bunch or girls but include her friend and see if that dilutes the situation.

Or she could chat to her friend and say "please stop hugging etc you are my friend but it's getting on my nerves" and try and make light of it.

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