How to support new boyfriend with loss?

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I've been seeing a new guy for about 2 months, I like him A LOT and we both think the relationship has legs.
Very sadly, about 3 weeks ago his Grandmother has become very ill and it looks like she doesn't have much time left. His Grandfather is also terminally ill and it looks like they will both pass away very soon.
He was raised completely by his Grandparents, so in my mind this is the equivalent of him losing both parents.
The last three weeks he has massively withdrawn, messages a lot less frequently and has cancelled on me last minute several times. After silence for 3 days, I messaged to check in and offered to back off if he didn't want me to be contacting him.
He explained to me that he is an introverted person who withdraws when upset. He assured me it wasn't personal when he goes quiet on me but that he's not used to people caring for him and internalises things. He said that whilst he is really comfortable with me, he wants our time to be happy and enjoyable at this early stage and subsequently doesn't want me to see him upset.

I understand and respect this and so have tried not to take the absence personally. This is a terribly difficult situation for him, which unfortunately looks like its going to get worse, and I'm desperate to support him.

My problem is that my last boyfriend dumped me by "ghosting" me, ie. he just suddenly stopped talking to me one day, with no explanation. My boyfriend before did similar (and also took £10k of my money) and, just to be Freudian, my Dad had form for not showing up when I was young (he and my Mum are divorced).
I also have an anxiety disorder (medicated).

I have made sure to give him plenty of space, to not "chase" on text messages etc and be as patient as possible, but I don't know him hugely well as its been only 2 months and I simply don't know what to do or feel. It's becoming harder and harder not to feel rejected.

My friend has suggested moving on and dropping the relationship but 1) I genuinely want to be with him and 2) He's clearly having an awful time and I don't want to make that worse.

Any suggestions?
I'm sorry if I sound cold and selfish, I don't mean to be at all, I think this would be something much easier to deal with further down the line when the relationship is more secure.

Tbh I would back off and focus on other things, it's such early days in the relationship. He's been quite explicit about what he wants. Protect yourself by not investing more energy, he is not available to you. Keep it very casual, consider dating other people.

I would also completely back off. You want to support him but it doesn't sound as if he wants you to. It is such early days that I don't think you can do any more than you have.

You like him a lot and you got on well so far, and he seems to like you to, so give it more time before you decide.

...and he seems to like you too.. (not "to"). I know people only text each other these days but if you're grieving maybe meeting up in person, or speaking to each other over the phone, could be an option. I find texting over a phone screen is sort of impersonal compared to meeting someone in person.

I'm trying hard not to be too invested, which feels like the right thing to do and also not the right thing to do. He has spoke a lot about how he wants to see me etc etc so I don't think he's "just not that into me" and it sounds a lot like he needs someone right now, even just as a friend

If you do back off as others have suggested I would tell him that is what you are doing so you don't appear to be deserting or ghosting him. I would somehow bake it clear the door is still open and perhaps stay in touch (but not closely) if he really values your relationship he won't let it die.

Can you keep to texting occasionally and asking, can I phone you for a quick chat to see how things are? When would be a good time? When my parents were ill, although I thought I couldn't be bothered to call friends, I was pleased to have a quick chat if it was a convenient time. It took my mind off all the rest of the stuff going on.

I second what Wednesday said. I had been in a relationship with someone for two months before my father died suddenly. I also tend to withdraw when upset and internalise things. I wasn't rejecting my boyfriend at all and I think those posters suggesting your boyfriend is going cold and doesn't want your support are wrong. I really did appreciate his support. I just also needed my own space and to not be crowded do I could process the shock of what had happened. Based on my experience, I would say do back off a bit and don't chase him, but let your boyfriend know that you are listening to him and there for him if he needs you. I really don't think it's personal, it sounds like he likes you xx

I think you need to listen what he's telling you. With all due respect, he's going through something really awful and a lot to deal with, and you are only still getting to know each other. Keep yourself busy and just wait to see what happens. This must be really hard when it suddenly feels like the rug has been ripped from underneath you but he sounds genuine and I'd give him the space he needs.

From someone who went through losing my df last year I'd say please listen to him if you want your relationship to get through this awful time, I found myself being alot like the guy your seeing & i honestly didn't want to be around cheery happy people, or have to put on a face, or have someone who ain't got a clue asking questions that he dosnt want to answer like how are your gp doing, its early days for this relationship so he isn't going to want to lean on you for support & will feel he has to put on a brave face & isnt going to want to invest his time with you ATM, he's totally wrapped up in what is going on with his gp & he's emotionally unavailable to you, if you want to continue seeing him then let him know your there for him but don't push it asking to much details about hows he feeling etc, but when your with anyone going through this its hard enough let alone such a early stage relationship & nobody really has a clue what he's going through as grief effects us all differently, my advice to you is drop all the relationship aspect of it & just be there for him as a friend or a handhold for awhile

I think the occasional text saying that you are thinking of him would fit the bill. No pressure for a response. What a sad situation.