Long distance communication issue - just let it go?

[KatDubs261]

Boyfriend and I have been long distance for 2 months and had a 12 hour time difference for 1 month. He travelled to the other side of the world recently at the beginning of the month to attend a friend's wedding at the end.

So before the wedding I felt very involved in his day to day life, making things for the wedding etc. I couldn't attend with him (as much as I desperately wanted to) and felt a bit sad about it. Before the wedding I asked him twice to send me photos of the day and let me know how it goes. He said that he would the night before.

To my surprise I didn't hear from him at any point on the day of the wedding. It was only when I sent him a photo the next morning that he sent a short reply and I actually had to ask how it went. He said it was 'amazing' and described how he led the bridesmaids up the isle and had to slow dance with one of them before the first song. Honestly I was fuming!

He claimed it was such a busy day and the celebrant at the wedding had instructed them all to leave their phones at home (the ceremony was in a very secluded spot). He also said he would have uncomfortable snapping photos while at the top table.

Surely he should've taken a moment to contact me at least once during the day? Or do I just let I go as a one off because he's so good with communication the rest of the time...

Sounds like maybe long distance isn't for you tbh. .

Its a bit suspicious if he doesn’t normally act like that.

And telling you that he had to slow dance with one of the bridesmaids is just rubbing it in your face. I’d be fuming too!

Well no he doesn't, he was one of three (?!) best men on the day.

At one time in our relationship we had trust issues (no cheating, but it was still relevant) and I felt he wasn't transparent/told small white lies.

It seems like he wants to tell me every small detail now because I him to be transparent!

Long distance has been going very well I have to say. Great communication before and after the wedding. It was just this one day - but I desperately wanted to be included in it in some small way.

I think you should maybe try talking to him and let him know that his actions that day are still bothering you.

I wouldn't expect communication from someone at a wedding.

I think you are being a bit unreasonable - he explained they were asked to leave phones at home.

There will be photos in a bit as they start to be shared etc

I think you need to let go

I wouldn't get upset about one day of bad communication in an otherwise happy relationship.

I wouldn't be fuming that he'd danced with a bridesmaid. Surely he was just following protocol?

I wouldn’t overthink it too much. My husband has been in several weddings for friends and they really are very busy. There was no where he could easily carry his phone in his suit (hired as he was best man) and he left it back in the hotel which makes total sense to me (we run a business and have banking and account info on there, not something I’d want him to drunkenly lose). I couldn’t attend as they were adults only destination weddings and we had no childcare help. It’s annoying to an extent because if there was a genuine emergency with our daughter I wouldn’t have been able to reach him, but I do understand. Weddings can be really stressful when you’re in the wedding party. Now dancing with a bridesmaid and telling you about it, yeah, that’s weird, but in isolation it’s probably not a big deal. This sounds like a new ish relationship. I would be annoyed with my husband because we’re married and that’s not something he would do, even with a close friend. But by itself maybe nothing.

That said though being long distance can be hard and you really need to be invested in the relationship long term and have a lot of trust for it to work. My dh and I did it for 2 years when we were dating (I was literally on the other side of the world, 11 hours away). It’s hard, but if this is a relationship you see having a future, it’s absolutely possible to do.

Best man dancing with maid of honour is pretty traditional - three best men probably meant they all had to dance with bridesmaids. Is this not something you'd heard of? I agree with him about taking photos while at the top table, and lots of weddings ban phones these days.

Has he given you any reason to be paranoid?

If he didn't have his phone, how on earth could he contact you?