Posted before.....
My mum emotionally neglected us when we were younger. Step dad came first and he abused us all so much (not allowed friends over, too fat to sit in their car, blind folded my brother, not allowed in tge house when they werent home, had to go to my room when he came home from work, no Christmas presents, had to move out when I was 16 and so much more) me and my siblings have many mental scars.
My mum left my step dad after 22 years all when we were adults and had a few relationships since. Putting them before us always.
It got to the point where I was feeling more and more anger towards her and past memories were eroding.
I decided to approach her on her behaviour and lack of emotional support. My mum is very very self absorbed and has always had a man to emotionally and financially support her so giving isn't something that comes naturally.
Anyway, I told her that it's important for us all to make an effort, life is too short. She continued with her selfish ways. So recently I told her when there's a man involved she forgets about us. I also said she doesn't consider anyone else. She has said I am spiteful and mean for saying this and now told me it's too much to help with childcare. I am a single parent at uni studying nursing and 20 months in I have relied on her a little but my next placement is longer hours. She promised me she would help. Now she says it's too much. It woukd mean my 2 dd's sleeping at hers 2 evenings a week and her cooking (something she has never done in 20 plus years). She knows this is my career and I have nobody. I almost left the course and went to see my GP as I get no support at all.
Anyway the reason I am posting...
She now will play the victim and stop speaking to me. She did it to my brother. Instead of making things right, as I would with my dd's, she will just ignore and think I have been nasty when clearly I have told her my mental scars are still there when she acts tbis way.