Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Update on my mim. What do I do now? Have I been mean?

6 replies

cupcakesmakeyouhappy · 22/11/2017 20:15

Posted before.....
My mum emotionally neglected us when we were younger. Step dad came first and he abused us all so much (not allowed friends over, too fat to sit in their car, blind folded my brother, not allowed in tge house when they werent home, had to go to my room when he came home from work, no Christmas presents, had to move out when I was 16 and so much more) me and my siblings have many mental scars.
My mum left my step dad after 22 years all when we were adults and had a few relationships since. Putting them before us always.
It got to the point where I was feeling more and more anger towards her and past memories were eroding.
I decided to approach her on her behaviour and lack of emotional support. My mum is very very self absorbed and has always had a man to emotionally and financially support her so giving isn't something that comes naturally.
Anyway, I told her that it's important for us all to make an effort, life is too short. She continued with her selfish ways. So recently I told her when there's a man involved she forgets about us. I also said she doesn't consider anyone else. She has said I am spiteful and mean for saying this and now told me it's too much to help with childcare. I am a single parent at uni studying nursing and 20 months in I have relied on her a little but my next placement is longer hours. She promised me she would help. Now she says it's too much. It woukd mean my 2 dd's sleeping at hers 2 evenings a week and her cooking (something she has never done in 20 plus years). She knows this is my career and I have nobody. I almost left the course and went to see my GP as I get no support at all.
Anyway the reason I am posting...
She now will play the victim and stop speaking to me. She did it to my brother. Instead of making things right, as I would with my dd's, she will just ignore and think I have been nasty when clearly I have told her my mental scars are still there when she acts tbis way.

OP posts:
Bekabeech · 22/11/2017 20:19

Sorry but you should cut her out of your life. She is not safe to care for your dc.
You need to be honest with your Uni and see if there is anyway they can help. Unfortunately it might not be the right time for you to do this course. (I have sympathy but sometimes it is impossible with dc)

cupcakesmakeyouhappy · 22/11/2017 20:25

I have to add. Since being from my step dad she stepped up a little and helped me out financially a few years ago. If I ask her to have dd's (which has been about 10 times in 4 years) she does. Also the school run in the past. It's like everything she has done I held onto and felt guilty for my thoughts. It wasn't until my eldest dd became of age that I started remembering how my mum had let me down. What I do naturally for mine, my mum never does for me. On an emotional and physical level.
I have spoken to my uni, it's all sorted.

OP posts:
Bekabeech · 22/11/2017 20:38

Great news!

And when you have time/head space do get yourself some counselling.

cupcakesmakeyouhappy · 23/11/2017 11:12

Thankyou.
I just wonder how people live with the guilt of not speaking to their parents. I tried to talk to her. I have said my past is coming back to haunt me. She says I'm being mean bringing it up. She has text me saying how about all the financial help she has given me?. I do appreciate that so much but it's only when convenient with her. There is no emotional support ever! I went for years not having presents/ celebrations. If my mum is happy (with a man) there is no way she would help financially anyway. Not that I expect her to. But to throw tgat in my face. I want her to be emotionally available.
Anyway now she isn't coming for Christmas. She will just ignore me now. I know how she works.

OP posts:
AttilaTheMeerkat · 23/11/2017 11:21

Do read Toxic Parents written by Susan Forward; this could well also help you start dealing with your own FOG (fear, obligation and guiit) re your mother. Many adult children of such toxic parents are mired in FOG. I would also consider posting on the "well we took you to Stately Homes" thread on these pages. She was not a good parent to you and will not be a decent sort of grandmother to your children either. You need to all stay well away from her.

You will ultimately need to grieve for the relationship you should have had rather than the one you actually got. She is not the kind hearted soul you perhaps still want her to be and she will never give you any approval. Its not your fault she is like this, you did not make her this way. Her own family of origin did that to her.

cupcakesmakeyouhappy · 23/11/2017 11:32

Thankyou. I have been googling lots and come accross that this morning. Reading explains so much why I act and think the way I do. I'm really trying to be kinder to myself. I just know my mum will play the victim here. Up until now I have allowed her to be the way she is. But it became too painful. My fear is if anything happens to her, I will feel guilt for not just allowing it. I just couldn't allow it anymore she is so selfish and now as I have bought up my past she has said she can't help with childcare. That's so mean!

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page