The separation of myself and DH is raw as PP said. My views are affected by that. I do see it.
I have worried and perhaps overcompensated for my DH in the past and used to be the driving force in the frequency of our visits to her.
If I ask if he has spoken to her on a particular day the answer is no I spoke to her yesterday so I'll speak to her tomorrow.
Like another poster said not my circus, not my monkeys. they will do what they wish regardless of my concern/worrying/overthinking things.
My parents are kind to me (and my DH and DMIL) and my mum would has said she will/would happily have MIL over for a meal and or Christmas lunch but said she won't do that this year because of situation myself and DH are in now.
We separated 3 weeks ago. Very recent. Too soon to have any family encounters.
If my DH so much wants to be single he absolutely should be the one moving out so I can get on with selling the house and then we'd split the money but he refuses to go as he would feel like he has to be her 24 hour carer. He has too much to lose in his set up at our house. HE WANTS TO BE SINGLE! I moved out because I get too upset keep being ignored and made to feel bad that I was upset about him rejecting me and our married life.
I asked him to look into buying my share of the house. He said he does not know how to do that and he assumed the bank would not lend him the required amount but he won't make any telephone calls. This is an age old problem. He would not phone the doctor, dentist, hairdressers, hospital for appointments, utility providers, mortgage lender, burglar alarm company etc. He used to expect his wife to do all of it or it would be weeks/moths before he would finally make the telephone call. With all the extra work and phone calls he'll have when he is a single man perhaps he has had a wake up call.
If I go to visit MIL near Christmas I will take her a gift and card from me. I will politely just say how sorry i am that DH wants to separate and divorce and I'll keep in touch with her if she wants me to.
I have regarded MIL as a very kind person all the time I have know her. She is time generous and was an excellent baker before she lost ability to stand in her kitchen and make buns and cakes. One of her main regrets is that she now cannot make cakes and scones herself. She has very very exact standards when baking. She'd shop around different supermarkets until she found the exact precise ingredient she's used to using from her days as a young wife/mother. Tedious and pedantic about every little detail. I love this lady as much as my own parents. I've had her in my life for 24 years. I already miss seeing her.