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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The fucking X - punishing the kids

1 reply

greenberet · 22/11/2017 17:21

My ongoing issues are well documented on here - I have posted this separately to my other thread as I would welcome some views please

Ds has been off sick the last two days with a bad cold - ( i believe the frequency with which he is ill is an indication of a reduced immune system due to stress)

I had a Much needed and rare night booked away last night - it was x contact time - I left Ds in bed yesterday morning knowing that he was going to be picked up by the x as usual. I was in contact with Ds during the day. I had told Ds I would cancel but he said he was ok with me going.

This morning I message DD to see how she is and ask her if Ds went to school.i get a reply back saying she doesn't know - x and Ds had an argument last night and Ds came back here on his own.

Ds is not replying to my texts - in view of his previous self harm /suicidal comments I am concerned_ I have no idea where he is and so I call the school to find out if he's there - they sound a bit confused when I tell them its his mother but he has gone to school - I am relieved he is ok

I understand Ds left his blazer here - x refused to bring him back to get it but said he could wear his ( this would have swamped Ds) -an argument followed with Ds coming back here by bus and spending the night on his own - he is 16 although this is the first time.

X picked Dd up from work later that night - this is how she knew - I do not understand why x did not bring Ds back either earlier or when he picked Dd up - 30 minutes round trip at most

I believe this is the x continuing to cause problems for the kids Firstly by refusing to bring Ds back and then secondly be picking up Dd - this is one of the abusive tactics outlined in Lundy's book - divide and conquer - Ds said things would be worse when I posted on here about the dog fleas - you will need to read my other post! Is this it punishment of Ds because he told me what had happened - and because I thought it was funny that Karma seemed to be doing its stuff. X reads my threads - my document of my ongoing hell as a result of divorcing a narc!

I am concerned that I was not told - I assumed Ds was with x He was here alone - it is the comments that Ds makes about his own life that concern me and that the x cannot put himself out for the welfare of his kids - yes to play them off against each other but never consistently with their needs

Ds is struggling he has a cold I'm waiting for him now to come back from school - his day is long at the best of times! WTF is wrong with his father!

Did x think I would know last night and this would ruin my time ( has happened before) - or does he just not give a fuck about his fucking kids - the answer is probably both or is this another attempt by him to try and show that I am a bad parent because I went away on a pre planned night when Ds was ill with a cold - even though it was his contact time

Every time I try and help myself move forward the fucker has to do something

OP posts:
donners312 · 22/11/2017 17:35

Hi Greenberet - it is all of those things!!

He just doesn't give a toss and it is more important to him to make a point (she went aways and ds was ill, she's just a botch and a shit mother blah blah" and yes just do anything to help you move on.

In a way it is good you didn't know at least you still had your night. but it will now stop you doing it again.

sooooooooo draining and exhausting just torture dealing with these endless games with these mental losers!

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