Every time I visit my mum (who is 80 and a widow), one of my DDs (6) ends up in tears. I've noticed that on each visit mum tends to favour one of them and lavish them with praise and love and the other will be in her "bad books" and will be put down. It isn't always the same DD that gets the praise, mum swops between them.
We had planned to go out for a meal after school today so I arrived at mum's to collect her and mum said she didn't feel well, so could we just stay in and eat at her house. DD2 started to cry, not howling or tantrumming, just a bit disappointed, understandably IMO as she thought she was eating out at a restaurant. Mum got cross with her "stop that crying, what a way to behave because you don't get your own way, your mother never behaved like that when she was little ..... blah blah". I calmly explained to mum that she was 6 and she was disappointed that plans had changed and to leave her alone, but she nagged on and made a big point of giving DD1 some stickers "because she is so good" .
Later on she was watching DD2 running around in her pants and started going on about how plump she was getting, and how she must hold her tummy in . To a 6 year old -it just makes me so sad and cross. Even if she was plump i wouldn't like it but she's skin and bone.
I can't talk to her or reason with her - she accused me of being very touchy and asked if i was pre-menstrual