Gut feeling to abort ship

[Earthsandwhich]

I’ve a close friendship with a man that feels a little intense at times but for the best part is good, although in the past has felt too codependent and a bit close. We’ve never had ‘more’ and I’m not looking for that from him (nor him me as he has made clear rather brutally at times) He’s done some things to hurt me in the past (some comments that haven’t been kind) but after some stern words from me about three weeks ago (I told him I wouldn’t stay friends if the behaviour continued) he apologised, said it wouldn’t happen again, and has been lovely ever since. For the first time in a very very long time I like our dynamic and feel a little more valued.

Yet a voice in my head is telling me to abort ship and run for the hills, and that this is the perfect time to cut him off and call time on the friendship. I don’t even know why - for the first time ever he’s the main initiator of 90% of contact, he’s saying nice things and we’re having fun. But I’ve never had such a strong pull to leave a situation before - almost a panic that my time is running out to press the escape hatch.

Has anyone else experienced this before? Am I being paranoid?

It's not clear why you didn't end it earlier when the dynamic wasn't good. Is he love-bombing now? Trust your gut instincts on this.

At the time I kept wanting to give it another chance but think I was just over invested which is why I didn’t walk.

You know you're allowed to end a relationship for any reason or none at all, don't you? If you had children together obviously there would be good reasons to try to make it work, but if he's just a friend or casual lover, why the hell should you? Perhaps you feel because he listened to you and changed his ways you owe him a chance. But actually you don't owe him anything - perhaps an acknowledgement of his improved behaviour, but that's as far as it goes.

Bottom line is, if you do not wish to be friends with someone then just don't. It really is that simple.