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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

At what age would you go it alone?

10 replies

Pebbles1989 · 20/11/2017 21:44

I am 28 and single after a horrible breakup from the person I thought I would marry. There are no signs of interest from anyone else... not for want of trying. I’m hoping I will meet someone, but I’m not willing to give up on having children if I don’t. So, how long should I give it? Are fertility tests worth doing?

OP posts:
firsttimemum889 · 20/11/2017 21:50

You are 28 !! Chill out !

Mum2jenny · 20/11/2017 21:51

I'd give it a couple of more years before you need to panic too much

hattyhighlighter · 20/11/2017 21:52

Nobody can tell you about your own individual fertility, but at your age I'd give it five years maybe? Take the first year off from dating and just doing exactly what YOU want and building up your self esteem. Then you will be in a better position to meet someone lovely. Good luck Flowers

GinwithCucumber · 20/11/2017 21:53

Concentrate on enjoying yourself for 7 years! Brew

LuxuryWoman2017 · 20/11/2017 21:53

28 is a wonderful age, enjoy it. I was 36 when I had my child so you have plenty of time.
Never hurts though to save money, be in peak health and keep an eye on the future.

ButterfliesAreWeird · 20/11/2017 21:54

28 is exactly the age i will be looking at getting pregnant again on my own. Theres no harm in looking in to your options

12345OnceCaughtAFish · 20/11/2017 21:58

I was older than you are now when I first met my now DH. We were together several years before deciding to have our first child, we had no real issues conceiving and I was over 35. As one PP stated fertility is an individual thing, but honestly I think the odds are in your favour. Hatty's advice re building your self-esteem is good advice btw.

mindutopia · 20/11/2017 22:01

Definitely not before 35. I was exactly you at 28. I was fed up, came out of a long term relationship that was the person I thought I’d settle down with, horrible dating experiences. I decided I wasn’t going to look anymore and was pretty much done with men for the foreseeable future. I took a job overseas in a developing country ready to focus on myself and have a break. 2 months after moving for my job, I met my now husband out for drinks with work friends (he was also an expat, working with a company in the same city and had arrived the week before). We got married 3 years later and had our daughter. I’m now pregnant with our 2nd (at 37). There really is no rush. You absolutely can go it alone and you have plenty of time to do that. But don’t write off finding the right person yet. Parenting is so much easier when you’re sharing it with someone you love and I’m so grateful I have him to do it all with, even if I would have gone it alone if I’d needed to.

Pebbles1989 · 20/11/2017 22:01

Thanks - it’s interesting to hear different opinions. My self-esteem is generally good but it’s low in this area due to what happened with my ex.

OP posts:
Mintychoc1 · 20/11/2017 22:33

35

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