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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I hate my husband

30 replies

PippaLongStocking · 17/04/2007 19:32

I've posted before about going back to my husband after I'd split up with him before because of his behaviour and abuse.

We've now decided to go our separate ways for good. The house is being sold. I've decided that I'll move into rented accommodation with our daughter once the house is sold, just to get out of this awful situation and speed things up. He is refusing to do the same (or even go and stay with his mum who has the space) and is saying he'll wait until he can find the right house to buy (which is going to add months to the sale process because he's taking ages about doing this).

One of his biggest bones of contention is that I'm a SAHM. Not as if he gives me any housekeeping money or money for our daughter and he refuses me access to HIS account. I've just robbed Peter to pay Paul for the past few years. Now, I've been offered an interview on Thursday for a well paid job (about £40k!). I was absolutely thrilled and asked him if he would take the morning off work to look after our daughter while I went (considering he pulls sickies for the slightest sniffle, its not an unreasonable request!). Just had a barrage of abuse about how unreasonable I am, how I want him to lose his job (?) and how I "don't have the brain" to organise interviews properly. I'm absolutely shaken and seething. He just seems to be blocking things left right and centre and making sure everything grinds to a miserable halt. Will I ever get rid of this cretin?

OP posts:
BandofMothers · 17/04/2007 19:37

Is he trying to get back at you cos it was your idea to seperate for good????

What a git. Arrange something else for dd, and show him you can manage very well without him and thanks for nothing.

sniff · 17/04/2007 19:42

Have you got anyone else that could have her?

It will go well for you he is just pissed that you are getting on with your life

(if your in the North west bring her to me)

you will be fine and successful by yourself

best of luck with your interview

lazymummy · 17/04/2007 19:51

he's a twunt. don't let him rile you, it's exactly what he wants. if you can find somebody else to look after your daughter more's the better.

god i hope you get the job. a 40k salary would mean minimum dependency on the loser.

Pinkballoon · 17/04/2007 20:39

Thanks for the replies nice people! I can't get any childcare arranged at such short notice (believe me I would if I could!) and can't get anyone round to my house (friends/ family) for 8am in the morning (time I would need to leave for the interview).

Now he's zoomed off to the gym!

Aaaaarrrgggghhhhhh - I just want him to go away and stay away.

LazyLine · 17/04/2007 20:44

Whereabouts are you?

Hassled · 17/04/2007 20:46

If you're in East Anglia I can help. you HAVE to get to that interview.

Pinkballoon · 17/04/2007 20:46

SE London

Hassled · 17/04/2007 20:46

Damn

Pinkballoon · 17/04/2007 20:49

Whats p***g me off as well is that I had to ask for a later time anyway (they initially wanted to interview me at 8.30am) and explain that it was because of childcare (which goes down like a lead balloon anyway). He has no idea how difficult it is to get an interview when you've been 'out of the market' as such.

KnayedFrot · 17/04/2007 20:51

Can you arrange alternative childcare and rearrange the interview? Even just delay it?

How long will it take?

You don;t need to give an exact reason.

You must go to this inertview!

KnayedFrot · 17/04/2007 20:52

Oh sorry, x posts

KnayedFrot · 17/04/2007 20:53

Can you afford emergency childcare? A friend recommended a nanny agency to me but I can;t remember what it was called..erm...maybe someone will know one in your area?

WigWamBam · 17/04/2007 20:53

Can you get hold of a list of local childminders (the library may have one) and see if one of them can do a one-off for you? It has to be worth a try, you really must go to that interview.

Pinkballoon · 17/04/2007 20:54

There was this long long long silence when I told the consultant that I needed to make childcare arrangements. I was actually very surprised that he rang back with an alternative time - was convinced that he'd wiped me off his system.

Lua · 17/04/2007 20:59

I never used myself, but heard ,many good things about SITTERs, give them a call!
Hope you sort it out, you will feel really good to show him you can manage!

LoveMyGirls · 17/04/2007 21:00

try childcare link

or

emergency childcare

You go girl, sod him, useless bloke!

LoveMyGirls · 17/04/2007 21:02

And don't leave yourself short of time, what time is the interview? get your dd to childcare then go home get ready, make yourself absolutly immaculate put some feel good tunes on and get your head in gear. Good luck!!

sauce · 17/04/2007 21:11

Totally sympathise but my hatred is prob not permanent!

I hope you get that job.

MARGOsBeenPlayingWithMyNooNoo · 17/04/2007 21:15

If you are able then you could drop your LO to my house?

Am I local? I am about 10 mins away from Shortlands, Ravensbourne and Grove Park Stations

My e-mail is margo1974 @ hotmail.co.uk

Mummy2TandF · 17/04/2007 21:26

Hi - you say SE London - I am in Romford Essex - is that any good to you, I would be more than happy to have your dd for you, I know only too well what it feels like to have an obstructive dh. You need to go to this interview for you and show him that you don't need him

MARGOsBeenPlayingWithMyNooNoo · 17/04/2007 21:34

pink balloon

I'm off to bed now, I will catch up on any messages tomorrow.

I wish you the best of luck for your job interview.

star1976 · 17/04/2007 21:47

Hi there, I live just outside SE London (I think?) in Orpington, Bromley.

Would be happy to have your DD if it helps. I am a registered childminder (but not hinting for business so don't worry).

You def need to be away from your husband. Good luck!

Ilovemyboy · 17/04/2007 21:59

Hi Pippa

I am in Brockley. Whereabouts are you? You can drop her off with me and DS for the morning if you want.

You need to go to that interview.

collision · 18/04/2007 12:24

.

kimi · 18/04/2007 12:32

He sounds a real prat.