Someone tell me this would be a bad idea (ex related)

[Emboo19]

We’ve seen each other most of the weekend and it’s been nice. I said he could have DD tonight as he’s not had much one on one time with her. I’ll need to go to his early morning so he can go to work and at the time he suggested I just stay tonight, I said no and we left it at that.

Then he text about 8 with a photo of dd, and we’ve texted back and forth since. He just text to say he’s getting a takeaway and why don’t I go round. He’s saying just as friends and then I don’t have to get up at 5.30 to go round in the morning.
And I’m so tempted.
But I know it won’t be as friends and I don’t want him back and so somebody please tell me how stupid it would be. And if anyone has any will power going free send it this way.

If you know he won't see it as friends...and will be wanting something else.....and that you may give in ...then don't go.

It's a bad idea. Just go to bed (on your own).

There has to be a good reason he's your Ex. Just keep reminding yourself of that reason. It doesn't sound like you've really moved on much, but all a night at his will do is make the moving on even harder for you.

He’s not asking as a friend Sandy and I know I wouldn’t be going as one.

It’s too early to sleep though and I’m in alone. Can’t decide between drinking so then I won’t drive or if that’s a bit risky if I start on the wine, will I be more tempted.

Are you still at your parents? How about you give your mum your phone overnight again, like previously?

Just seen you're in alone....

Switch phone off then. And maybe lock it in a cupboard. And freeze the key in a block of ice. Or similar.

Play Dua Lipa- new rules, on repeat.
Go bed alone.

Change into your pj's even though you're not going to bed yet

Get into a good book

Take your make up off and put a hair mask on, so even if you are tempted it will take effort to get ready to go..... though it’s been a while now since you last posted so I’m wondering if you went?!

Tell him you're not going over...then switch your phone off and go to bed.

That's the best thing to do in these situations.

Ha, I’m a curly haired girl and my hair was straightened yesterday no way anything’s going on my hair Ninjakitty. I’d rather suffer the consequences of sex with the ex than that.

I had a bath and one of my friends finally phoned me back and I’m now in bed, alone!

Glad you didn’t succumb! For future reference, I grow my leg hair and don’t get a bikini wax to put me off doing stupid things like this - the effort involved to get ‘sex ready’ means I totally can’t be arsed!

Ha, we were together 4 years and have a dd so don’t think any of that would even put him off Ninjakitty. Although I’d been at a wedding yesterday and had a wax the day before, which does seem a waste when I’ve spent the weekend alone.

I’ve got to get some will power though, we go away together soon (already booked before we split).

I read your previous thread. You know you’ll never be happy with him again after he slept with someone else. You mentioned that over and over. Unfortunately if this is still the case you need to set hard, uncomfortable boundaries and I think be 100% firm with him. You may need a period of scaling back on being friends as it is incredibly hard to be strong all the time and you probably need to build a few emotional walls first.

I hope uni is going well and you and your daughter are happy.

Is there no-one else you can go away with, if you change his ticket?

I fear going away together will be a miserable experience for you both.

I know it is difficult, but you need to spend less time together with your DD, atm anyhow. She needs to get used to a new reality, and so do you.

No need to fall out, but if you are serious about moving forward apart then you need to start doing so. Less confusing for all three of you, and your wider families. Doesn't mean in the longer term you can't do things together as and when.

Otherwise, it will tale longer for you all to accept the new reality. And, if and when one of you hooks up seriously with someone else it might be far messier than it needs to be. Your XP is clearly not entirely sure it's over yet. I know what he did, and I am not showing him sympathy but it's not fair to him if he is picking up mixed messages. Less time together, and no messaging other than necessary info.

No we’ve looked at different options Florene but other than one or both of us losing a lot of money we haven’t been able to sort anything out.

We haven’t really been spending much time together really, drop offs/pick ups etc are done at the door. I think I was just a bit lonely last night and I’d seen a lot of him over the weekend. He knows I’m seeing/dating someone though so he knows it’s over.

For your own sanity one of you is going to have to drop out of going away.

Also you are not being fair or honest to your new boyfriend, how would he feel knowing that you still have strong feeling for ex? You will end up sleeping with your ex if you go away with him, that is potentially hurtful to all.

He won’t not come 0ccams and it’s his ticket in his name which he paid for. I can’t not go as we are visiting my family and my parents and grandparents have now booked to be there when we are, so I’m not staying home alone over Christmas. We’ve reduced the time we are staying so now we’ve only got 3 nights together and then I’ll be staying with family and he’s got some friends he’s going to stay with most of the time (hopefully).

I don’t have a boyfriend, I’m dating but it’s not exclusive or anything serious.

I would never cheat though, so I might have to ask if he wants to be exclusive before I go away.

Your ex is being very manipulative, using your DD to try and chip away at you.

He's dishonest, and you can do better, as you know.

I really hope you don't slip back, because he won't come up to scratch.

Have you seen the full results of his most recent STI screen? The thought of him giving you a dose of gnorrorhea if he sleeps around should be enough to help you resist.

I don’t think he is Fizzy I think at first it was a genuine offer to make it easier in the morning. He’s not made any secret of the fact he’d like to get back together, but he doesn’t push it and hasn’t tried anything when we’ve been together.

I actually have Lello he’s pretty big on safe sex though anyway, he doesn’t want anymore babies for one thing.

I’m ok now though, my moment of madness seems to have passed. I think it was just seeing him be so great with dd at the weekend and him wearing a suit, that’s a very nice sight (luckily he doesn’t wear them often!). Although being back in our little house this morning was more difficult than I expected it to be.

Sorry I missed that Alaska uni is going well, thank you.

I just saw it was you Emboo.

Of course he wants you back. You guys are going to Australia I recall.

Enjoy the single life for now.

How's Uni going?