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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

First relationship since exP has fizzled out. Any chance of rekindling?

3 replies

octonaught · 19/11/2017 18:16

Split from exP 2 years ago. (We were together 8 & have a 7yo).
Only started dating in September. Met an amazing guy, who had been separated for a year, 2 dc younger than mine who got on great with me.

Nothing bad happened between us, but a combination of pressure of his divorce, full custody of his v. Young children, financial pressure as his wife buggered off leaving him with all bills, plus a colleague of his was stabbed (by a neighbour with mental health issues)
Said he didn't want to hurt me & was scared (as his separation had scarred him). (This is after him telling me he loved me v. Soon after we met.) Now radio silence.

Is it worth sending him an xmas present I had already bought for the dc's and a card, saying I understand he has loads on his plate. Let's touch base in a few months. Or just forget him.

(I haven't dated in a decade & never as a mum. He was the first guy I dated, and he'd had a few flings since his ex, but I was the first "serious" one. Met his kids, parents etc.) He was lovely. But I have no idea if this is a normal scenario. Given there were no cross words, he just didn't reply to my last text. (About a week ago, and then he had called me about 2 weeks before that...)

I feel like an idiotic teenager, but would like some advice please

OP posts:
RainyApril · 19/11/2017 18:19

I’m really sorry that this hasn’t worked out for you but I wouldn’t contact him, no. I understand that he has a lot of stresses in his life but if he wanted to be with you, he would make it happen no matter what.

ShatnersWig · 19/11/2017 18:50

Sounds as if it went too serious too quickly. If you started dating in September then this was at most two months and you'd already met his children, let alone his parents.

Let him go and take things much more slowly. Don't meet each other's kids until you know you're going to be around a while.

octonaught · 19/11/2017 20:18

Yes seeing it like that, it was way too fast. I guess as it was a couple of years since my LTR ended, I rushed into it, as I felt ready. But with kids & other responsibilities to consider I will not be so hasty next time.

Thanks for the advice

OP posts:
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