Online dating

[StillGotTheTreeUp]

I've delved into this, frankly slightly odd, world.

Is there any etiquette I should be aware of?

I've been chatting to a nice guy for a week or so, should we be meeting by now? Do I ask him or do I need to wait? Should I chat to other guys at the same time if I think there's also potential?

Argh, it's so hard!

It’s down to personal dating style I think, just like real life dating. I liked to meet quickly otherwise you invest far too much time and energy into something that goes nowhere or you invest emotionally in someone where there’s no real life chemistry.

I usually waited to be asked to meet and lost interest fairly quickly if that wasn’t forthcoming however I did meet some of my more interesting connections after I asked when the moment felt right.

Strap yourself in, it can be a bumpy ride 😁

Oh yes an talk to as many people as you want, the general rule is that it’s not exclusive until you discuss that issue and agree.

I’ve been trying OLD since September.

Spoke to a few but they seem to trail off.. or are after one thing.

Spoke to one for a month went on a date last Thursday.. it was hell and it turns out he was gay he just wanted his dad to think he was straight so that was fun for me.

Talk to a few, keep your options open they will be!

I've had a couple of long term relationships and a few short term ones from OLD. I think if you haven't had a date within 3-4 weeks max of talking then I'd write it off. And also talk to a few at once instead of focusing on just one. And be prepared to be rejected sometimes, just like I'm sure you'll also do the rejecting

I don't think there is an actual etiquette. What you should be aware of though is that you are going to encounter ALL kinds of people on OLD and only a small proportion of them will be decent dating prospects.

After a week of chatting you should know whether or not you two will have enough to talk about to go on a date. If he does not make the first move, you can always say something along the lines of "we should really take this conversation live". Mind you some are happy to be pen pals and will never go on a date. Knowing sooner rather than later is best.

Good luck! And join the dating thread! :)

The guy I'm chatting too has implied that he'd like to meet, but hasn't said 'hey, got plans for Friday night?' I feel we're doing the whole get to know you thing remotely, usually it's nice to do it in person.

Think I'll see what else is out there and not put all my eggs in one basket.

Dipping

There’s a few that hint they want to take you out but nothing ever comes of it unfortunately

I always spoke to multiple guys at once and tended to only chat for a couple of days before meeting. Any longer and you tend to build up an unrealistic view of them in your mind.

Just keep it light and take everything with a pinch of salt until you've got to know them.

It's best to meet up pretty quickly, don't chat for weeks and weeks or you will probably be disappointed when you meet and he's nothing like you pictured.

I have been OLD on and off for almost 3 years ,I have had many dates, many pen pals that never actually want to meet and many that are just after one thing.

I usually talk to a few at the same time, many will vanish before you get as far as dating.

Met lovely partner OLD three years ago. Meet early. Just meet for brief drink coffee, after work or at lunch or whatever. No meals, no theatre etc. See if you like them. If you do, let them know afterwards.

The only advice I'd give is:

a. Meet early. Really early (if you can). Get it out the way. Don't write for ages. It's a huge risk and a lot of wasted time and thought. There are the very rare occasions where endless writing results in a wonderful meeting and then relationship, but these lucky folk are rare.
b. Just for a coffee. Nothing more. Unless you've shared quite a lot of yourself and the coffee date is great, so go on somewhere, perhaps. Just perhaps.
c. Relax. Don't try too hard. Just chat.

Thanks guys. I totally agree re creating an unrealistic view of them.

I'm going to bite the bullet and ask him for a coffee tomorrow. Let's see what happens!

I might be a bit odd for this but I actually prefer to wait. Not like months and months of course, but I’d say a good few weeks.

I’m a bit anxious so knowing someone and having that kind of rapport helps really.

Secondly I am a single parent so I don’t really want to waste a babysitter on someone when I have no clue if we have anything in common!