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Original poster

Airbnb confirmation-think dh cheating?

36 replies

Ivyholly · 19/11/2017 15:40

My dh has been unfaithful in the past, and swears it's all over. I'm working through things deciding whether to try again and I still don't trust him so checked his texts on his phone. There was a text in September from airbnb - it was a 4 digit confirmation code. We've never used airbnb as a family/couple so I don't know why they'd send one but suspect it's to confirm a booking-can anyone tell me if that's the case, please?
Thank you

OP posts:
Angelwendy · 19/11/2017 15:42

Yes that's what's happened when I've used them. can you see where the property is located? Could he have needed it for work or for a friend/family member visiting?
I would just come out and ask him and see how he reacts. If he's done something dodgy then he'll have to think pretty quickly on his feet to come up with a plausible excuse and it will be obvious if he's being dishonest.

Original poster
Ivyholly · 19/11/2017 15:49

Thank you. He never works away, ever, and hasn't been away overnight so am guessing if he booked it, he wasn't there long...

Feel so sick. I can't go through this again but at least it helps me decide once and for all.

I wondered if it could be a cancellation confirmation but I'll never get my hands on his phone again and I don't know any of his passwords.

Thank you
X

OP posts:
Justbookedasummmerholiday · 19/11/2017 15:53

Has he mentioned staying out?

GlitteryFluff · 19/11/2017 15:54

If you think you can read his body language/ facial expressions well then I'd come out and ask him.
But if he manages to come up with a story that you feel could be believable then you're stuffed because he'll just hide things better, definitely not leave his phone around etc and you'll never know the truth or find out if it happens again..

Angelwendy · 19/11/2017 15:57

Do you know if the property was near where you live? Do you have an exact date for the booking?
Could you contact the property and give your OH's name and say he lost something whilst there and have they seen it? Hopefully they might give some sort of indication as to whether he was there or not.
Could he have booked it on behalf of a friend?

Original poster
Ivyholly · 19/11/2017 16:00

There was nothing in the text except this code? He definitely hasn't been away. I don't want to admit I've stooped to reading his email but guess I have no choice.

OP posts:
MrsZB · 19/11/2017 16:00

Hi, I used Airbnb recently but didn't get texted a confirmation code. Just message from the owner to email.

Fekko · 19/11/2017 16:01

What was he doing around that date? Away at all?

MrsZB · 19/11/2017 16:02

I just googled for you. It sounds like he was setting up an account?

www.airbnb.co.uk/help/article/277/how-do-i-verify-my-phone-number

Angelwendy · 19/11/2017 16:02

I've been messaged a code before when I've used them.

NotTheFordType · 19/11/2017 16:02

I think you get sent a confirmation code when you register an account on the website or the app.

Any possibility he's looking to book something for the two of you to get away? Or for family visiting at Xmas?

Original poster
Ivyholly · 19/11/2017 16:03

That's great thank you. I'm in such a state I couldn't work that out. That does look less dodgy but still not great as why get an account unless you're going to use it...

OP posts:
Psychobabble123 · 19/11/2017 16:04

Chexk his imternet history and see where he has been looking at going. If he then suggests you go, sorted. If he doesn't, and some other excuse comes up you will know

MrsZB · 19/11/2017 16:06

I sometimes just browse airbnb looking for nice places to stay. I'm not sure if you need an account to browse though.

happypoobum · 19/11/2017 16:14

If he has cheated and he expects you to get over it, why do you not have unfettered access to his phone?

I think if the trust is gone, the relationship is over Sad

PushingThru · 19/11/2017 16:20

Ask him about Airbnb in a general way - i.e. ‘I was reading about that Airbnb on Facebook I’m not sure I’d want to stay in some random person’s house - have you heard of that’? If he lies, then...

KarmaNoMore · 19/11/2017 16:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AirandMungBeans · 19/11/2017 16:21

I would probably go down the route of saying something like "I was thinking we could have a little holiday at some point next year and wondered about AirBnB, what do you think?". If he says that he has an account and was thinking the same thing, you're all good. If he says that he has no idea about it, then he might be hiding something.

I think I'd rather put a few subtle feelers out there, rather than going down the accusatory route. That way you'll have a fair idea based on his reaction, plus if he is playing away, he won't know that you've checked his phone and start hiding things better.

VitriolicMuse · 19/11/2017 16:28

Personally I’d like to think he was probably just setting up an account and that was part of the verification process. If it was me I’d casually mention that you’ve been looking at somewhere to stay for a short break on airb&b it might prompt him to say he’s got an account already and he’s been looking. Maybe he was innocently looking to take you away, I do this all the time then realise we’re too skint!

TheFrendo · 19/11/2017 16:30

What are you going to do when you find he has been lying and cheating again?

SandyY2K · 19/11/2017 16:32

if he has cheated and he expects you to get over it, why do you not have unfettered access to his phone

^..^...^ THIS 100%.

It should be a condition of reconciliation.

StefMay · 19/11/2017 16:35

I think if you mention AirBnB he will know you have been snooping. I'd know.

Just hang fire and let him have the chance of surprising you with a getaway if that is what he is planning.

Seems too soon to hint at AirBnB. Also, phone wise, an experienced cheater will let you have access to his phone and he will have a separate phone for the other women if he is cheating. That's what my ex did.

I heard his second phone vibrating in a coat pocket and that's how I found out.

gillybeanz · 19/11/2017 16:41

Why don't you have his password?
If he has been unfaithful you must have had this as one of your assurances.
You don't trust him and I don't blame you, unless he was happy to be completely transparent in everything there's no way I'd be working through anything with him.
What is he/has he done to try to regain your trust.
This should give you your answer.

roobrr · 19/11/2017 16:42

As the person above said, if you mention Airbnb, you are very much giving away that you know about the account.

Also agree with the other post about having access to his phone. My DH was a dick when we met, talking to 20+ other women, met up with several of them (I only found out by going through phone in the first place) so now I know his codes/ passwords for everything but am finally at a point I trust him enough to not use them.

How did you get access to it to look through texts? x

Original poster
Ivyholly · 19/11/2017 16:48

I agree with you all re. his phone, and I do know the passcode but he keeps it with him plus deleted everything before so generally too careful to leave anything incriminating on it. It's so not for us as he knows I would not even go for a coffee with him let alone a night away. I'm pretty sure it's over, just hoping he's at least been true to his work while I work things out for certain.

x

OP posts: